


The butterfly effect

by NaoYoshikawa



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mpreg, Mudblood, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24682192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaoYoshikawa/pseuds/NaoYoshikawa
Summary: In mathematics and physics, the butterfly effect is a phrase that encapsulates the more technical notion of dependence sensitive to initial conditions, present in chaos theory. The idea is that small variations in initial conditions produce large variations in the long-term behaviour of a system.It is a very common autumn day when a little girl named El shows up in Crowley and Aziraphale. They still don't know how much she will change their lives. Or how much they will change hers.The butterfly that flapping its wings unleashes the storm.[mpreg]
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Kudos: 7





	1. Grey and false irises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link for italian story:https://efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3864944

September had entered just two weeks earlier.  
And in London, a demon and an angel met in the latter's library.  
"Good morning, angel! Where are you hiding?"  
Crowley had walked in, amazed not to find Aziraphale around. He suddenly sensed her perfume, a perfume he knew very well, and turned around.  
Aziraphale had appeared behind him, staring at him with folded arms, slightly upset.  
"You're late."  
"Late for what, exactly? Can you tell what time I'm arriving?" the demon asked, leaning against the counter and watching him blush.  
"No! It's just that I've been worried about you not showing up as usual..."  
"Which is to say, yes, I'll even tell you when I'm coming," I sighed. "Anyway, it's been a long night..."  
The angel raised an eyebrow.  
"Don't tell me you're still trying to be a rock star?"  
Crowley gouged out his eyes, came closer and closed his mouth with one hand. By Satan, he was now the one who blushed!  
"If you say it like that, you're making it sound stupid!"  
"Mmm umph... Ah!" Aziraphale broke away from his grip. "I didn't mean that at all! It's a good dream, and above all, it's a healthy dream. You've been practicing your electric guitar all night, haven't you? »  
She broke away from him, crossing her arms to her chest. Crowley had had many pastimes and hobbies over the course of six millennia. Of course, his passion for music had never waned, and lately, it had led to a desire to learn how to play an instrument, to break into rock. That's why he bought an electric guitar, it was said that it would be easy to learn, after all anyone could do it.  
Too bad that he soon had to come to terms with the harsh reality of the facts: it was not at all as simple as he had believed.  
"Yes... that's right..." he sighed. "You wouldn't happen to have any books in the middle of all this crap that explains how to make it in the music business?"  
"Rubbish?!" exclaimed Aziraphale outraged, sighing immediately afterwards. "I'm not sure, but there's something that might come in handy. Are you sure you don't want me to perform a miracle to help you?"  
"Don't even think about it! I don't need your help, I can do it on my own!" the demon stormed through the shelves looking for something that could help him.  
A miracle, tsk... He didn't need one!  
The angel had taken to chasing after him, with agitation.  
"Crowley, wait! Don't move all the books, then it's my turn to rearrange them! That's the wrong department!"  
"What are you complaining about? All you have to do is snap your fingers to put everything back where it belongs!" replied the demon, more for fun than seeing him freak out like that.  
Aziraphale, red in the face, was about to tell him that he couldn't come there and make as much noise as he wanted, but the fall of a book on the floor distracted him from his thoughts.  
"That's right," he put his hand on his face. Crowley looked up to the sky. First it made him despair, and then he ended up feeling guilty.  
"I'm sorry, all right? Look, I'll get it for you."  
"No, no, forget it, I got it... Ow!"  
They had both bent over and their heads had ended up colliding. Crowley looked up, sulking, doing to say something, but it was very difficult for him as his eyes were chained to the angel's very blue eyes, which now had blushed unjustifiably.  
"I don't think it's appropriate to blush like this."  
"I'm not blushing," he whispered, wishing to avert his eyes, but he couldn't actually do it. On the other hand, not even the demon would have succeeded, and on the other hand they would have stared at each other for a long time and beyond, if it hadn't been for the particular customer who had entered the bookstore that day.  
"Someone's come in," Aziraphale said as he stood up.  
"I noticed," he mumbled, rather annoyed. Come on, who was coming to interrupt a moment that could have been so fruitful?  
Well, the culprit was standing in front of his eyes. A little girl, maybe 12 years old at the most, looking at the various books on the shelves with great interest.  
"Good morning, darling, can I help you?" welcomed Aziraphale surprised, next to a not exactly happy Crowley. The little girl looked up, showing her eyes an unnatural grey, almost artificial colour. Her expression was strange. She seemed to be experiencing a myriad of sensations that made her go from happiness, to sadness, melancholy, fear, and all this the angel understood only by looking at those irises so false. After watching them for a long time, she smiled, holding out her hand.  
"Hello, my name is El!" he exclaimed with a loud, cheerful little voice.  
Crowley made a face. He didn't particularly hate children, in fact, he was quite good and capable with them, but there was something about that little girl that disturbed him deeply. Or maybe he was just nervous because he wanted to be alone with Azirapahle, and that hadn't been possible. The angel, as courteous and friendly as ever, shook El's hand.  
"Hi, nice to meet you, El. I'm Aziraphale and this is Crowley." He elbowed the latter, enticed him to introduce himself.  
"Huh? Ah, yes. That's me," he said weakly. El the squadron, smiling again. She looked like a fragile little thing, perhaps because she was petite, perhaps her eyes too big in such a small, pale face, too much hair of a strange faded blond and an expression that no one could have defined. It disturbed him and he didn't even know why.  
"So, El. Looking for something in particular?" Aziraphale had taken a close look at her because he had the feeling he'd seen her somewhere before.  
"Amh... not really," she admitted, carrying her hands behind her back. "Can I just stay here... for a while?"  
Crowley let himself go to another grimace. He knew the angel well enough to know that he would accede to such a foolish request.  
"Doing what? This isn't a hotel. Go home."  
Azirapahale gave him another elbow. That was hardly the right way to approach a child.  
El serrò the lips, snapping close and clinging to Crolwey's arm.  
"No, please! Don't make me go home, I can't!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because I don't know how to do it!" he shouted, insistent. "And then I don't want to."  
"You listen, little girl..."  
"Amh... sorry to intrude," Aziraphale cleared her throat. "El... listen, I need to have a word with him. Can you go for a minute? If you turn right, there are children's books you can read."  
El broke away from Crowley, taking a few steps, only to turn around and look at them and lift a finger.  
"And by the way, I don't read children's books, I read horror books. So I'm going this way!" he clarified, turning left. Aziraphale was banned for a few moments, then turned to Crowley.  
"Darling, why are you looking at me like that?"  
"Because I know you, angel. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no. We can't keep her."  
"Well! First of all, this is my library and I decide, secondly, we're not talking about a dog. El is nice."  
"...You can't welcome the first little girl who comes knocking on your door! She'll have a family, won't she? Or a home? She said she can't go back there, maybe she's an orphan who ran away from some institution, what do I know!"  
Aziraphale invited Crowley to lower his voice.  
"Come on, Crowley. I thought you liked kids."  
"I like them! But she... I don't know, she's weird," he just said. She couldn't explain in words what she was feeling from the moment El walked in, it was too strange, too absurd, that she couldn't understand.  
"Coming from a demon is strange," I sighed. "All right, all right. So... let me talk to him, okay? But you, darling... be quiet. »  
Crowley looked up to the sky. All right, all right, he would have kept quiet, maybe he was better off.  
El meanwhile had sat on the floor and started reading Stephen King's The Nights of Salem. She had lifted her eyes only to see Aziraphale and Crowley.  
"I'm not weird," he said.  
"Now you're eavesdropping too?!" Crowley blurted out, blowing his good fortune to remain silent. Aziraphale whispered something like, "How much patience that takes," and then bent over to El to talk to her.  
"So... dear El. What did you mean by "stay here for a while"? You meant for a few hours, didn't you? You... I mean... you do have a house, right? A family? Any relatives? Anything...?"  
El closed the book. He seemed to think about it a bit, because actually answering honestly was difficult.  
"Technically, yes, but they're not here right now. "They're... somewhere else. And so I'm on my own. »  
"What do you mean, alone? What kind of family is yours?!" once again Crowley couldn't help himself. He was a demon, all right, but at least he had some regard for certain things. El shrugged and then he turned to the angel again.  
"I know this is all very strange, but please don't ask questions. I'm not dangerous, but really, I have nowhere to go and... I swear it will all make sense so... please don't throw me out, in the cold and the frost! Please!" he exclaimed with a certain theatricality, clasping his hands.  
"For God's sake, I'm not going to throw you out. »  
And he didn't even think about it for a second. For some strange reason, he felt that El wasn't lying. Besides, even if she was dangerous or malicious, he was still an angel, he could defend himself. Surely there was something underneath and it certainly couldn't have been an accident if she had happened there that September day. But El had begged them not to ask questions, and she felt obliged, at least for the time being, to respect his will. She looked at Crowley, who had a very thorough expression.  
"Now why are you looking at me like that? After all, it's not about me. "If you want to pick up orphans from the street, you can do it. It's part of your angel nature."  
"I'm not an orphan..." El explained. "Anyway, you don't have to worry, I'm very discreet, you can keep flirting as if I wasn't there."  
Aziraphale came up with those words. Flirting, them? When? How? But most of all, why did El allude to such things so easily? He didn't even know them, but he seemed to know a lot more than they did.  
"You... you misunderstood, dear. We don't... I don't..."  
"You're not together? Of course, and I fell from the sky!"  
Well, sort of.  
The demon clenched his fists. Exactly what he needed, a cheeky little girl raging about his relationship with Aziraphale, but good!  
"You'd better hold your tongue, you. Rather, Aziraphale, are you gonna give me a book on how to be a rock star or not?!"

Author's note  
This story... at first I was very undecided whether to publish it or not, probably because it's not the simplest plot I've ever worked on, but by now it's clear, I don't like simple things.  
First of all, the quote I put at the beginning is from Arrival, a 2016 film that I was inspired by for some things and if you haven't seen it, I suggest you make it up, because it's beautiful. Second, did you find it a cheerful and funny chapter?  
No, because if I want to say that there is nothing to be cheerful about, although at least at the beginning I would like to keep it light because otherwise it is an emotional suicide, for me writing and for those who read. And then El. Who's El? Discounted for us, but not for Aziraphale and Crowley who boh, they see this little girl coming randomly, they hear certain things, but they don't understand. If the angel's more loving and helpful, the demon's pretty sour, but he doesn't do it on the spot, my word. I hope I won't miss pieces in the street in this new adventure, I wanted to wait a while to publish it, but it was pressing to be published, now I have no power over anything lol  
Whoever wants can also make theories, I like it when it happens (and then your theories are always more beautiful than my actual ideas xD)  
I usually thank my best friend Shimba97 for reading the chapter in advance and that she came out at the beginning with a WTF the size of a house.  
To the next chapter ^^


	2. Hospitality and crepes

Hosting a little girl you didn't know anything about was strange. Aziraphale hadn't said it out loud, though, to avoid Crowley's "I told you so" comments. And then he didn't feel uneasy at all. Of course, it had to be said that El was a real character. Cheerful and cheerful,but also terribly intelligent and profound, she was perhaps one of the few who could make Crowley so easily freak out.  
The angel wondered who the real baby of the two was. In any case, he was immediately struck by El, perhaps because he had a passion for books like him, although certainly not for horror ones. He would have listened to her for hours, and since El was also a big talker, it wouldn't have been as difficult as that.  
"I don't just like horror books, I like fantasy books. Oh, yeah, I love Harry Potter. Besides, love stories, those are good too. Oh, and I like Little Women! I was eight when I read that."  
Crowley massaged his aching head. Now a little alcohol wouldn't have hurt him, but Aziraphale would surely have scolded him by telling him that it wasn't good to drink in front of a little girl.  
"Ouch... why aren't I at home?" he complained.  
The angel looked at the clock.  
"It's actually getting a little late," he turned to El. "When you said you wanted to stay here for a while, what did you mean?"  
"Even at night, of course! I can't go home anyway!" he exclaimed with incredible naturalness, at which point Crowley looked up to the sky. So much for his time alone with Aziraphale, now that that little girl was in the way. He put glasses on his nose, glasses he'd done well not to take them off so as not to frighten El.  
"All right, I get the point. Have fun babysitting her, angel. I'm out of here."  
The little girl gouged her eyes out, jumping up.  
"Crowley, can I sleep over?!"  
The demon turned to look at her with a rather exhaustive expression.  
"I wouldn't do it even if God himself came down and ordered me to! I don't want kids in the way."  
"I PLEASE!" El was on him, with her hands together. "Aziraphale and I can come!"  
The latter raised his gaze, red in the face.  
"I... what...? "Dear El, you heard Crowley, it's best not to disturb him and..."  
"No, it's okay. You can come," mumbled the demon, trying not to think about how much that situation actually suited everyone, especially him.  
The angel cleared his voice and smiled nervously.  
"Honey, can I talk to you for a second?"  
Without even waiting for an answer, Aziraphale grabbed him by the arm, pulling him away from El.  
"I would like to remind you that we are not human. Don't you think we could traumatize her?"  
"And why does this problem only arise if he's staying with me?"  
"Because you haven't been tactful! Besides, I thought you didn't want her around. »  
"I'm in this situation, too," he lied. In truth, the prospect of spending an evening with Aziraphale excited him, which is why he had jumped at the chance.  
El approached him, with the hood of the black sweatshirt he was wearing on his head.  
"If you're not talking about the fact that you're not human, there's no need to hide, because I already know."  
The two supernatural entities took a surprise look at each other. If El had really sensed something different about them, then she couldn't have been an ordinary human.  
Crowley took off his glasses, showing his golden, serpentine eyes, noticing how El was completely impassive and smiling.  
"You already know? What are you, then?"  
El thought about it for a couple of seconds, and then she lifted her arms.  
"I'm a vampire, boo-hoo!" he exclaimed in a shrill voice, going after Crowley again.  
"Oh! Hell, the creature's tiny but heavy!" he complained, not realizing why he'd just become that little girl's favorite target.  
This situation made Aziraphale laugh quite a bit, but he was perfectly aware of how strange everything was. El seemed to have come out of nowhere. Not only could she not perceive anything wrong with her, but she could not perceive anything at all. She had only realized that she couldn't be human. Or at the very least, she wasn't a normal human. Even if he didn't know her, he had the feeling he'd met her before, especially seeing her play and disturb Crowley so much, it seemed the most natural thing in the world.  
"All right, all right, we'll both come to you," he finally said. "We'll think better tomorrow, it's been too tiring... and strange."  
El exulted, clutching Crowley's wrist tightly, who complained.  
Yes, small creature, but unreasonably strong.

Crowley couldn't believe he agreed to something so stupid.  
Well, actually he did it to spend time with Aziraphale, he had to admit that El's intervention in that case had been providential. When they arrived at her house, a place certainly unsuitable for a little girl, she looked around in wonder. There was plenty of space and comfort, sure, maybe the colours were a little dark, but she didn't mind at all.  
"So, listen, you," the demon began to say. "There are some rules you have to follow. Don't touch anything. Especially not my plants. Be still and be quiet. More importantly, don't disturb me."  
"CHITARRA!"  
Damn it. Of course there was a guitar, he had bought it himself a few weeks earlier in an attempt to learn how to play it, which he had not yet succeeded in. Aziraphale tried not to laugh, El was already breaking all the rules at once. Crowley frowned, approaching the abandoned electric guitar on the couch.  
"Don't. Touch. Nothing! I'll make you sleep on the floor."  
"Make a bed, I know you can do it," she sighed, carrying her hands behind her head. "Ah, can you make me some pajamas, too? I can't sleep in my clothes!"  
"...What?"  
Now that... now that little girl's giving him orders, too? How dare she?!  
Before he could explode, Aziraphale put his hand on his shoulder, calming him instantly.  
"All right, El. I got this, okay?"  
The angel snapped his fingers, and instead of the black sweatshirt and torn jeans, a very soft polka dot pajamas appeared.  
"I love it!" he squealed. "I sleep here in the living room. Please, you guys go sleep together."  
"Together...?" whispered Aziraphale. Of course El knew just what to say to embarrass him. It almost sounded like he was doing it on purpose.  
"We're adults, it's too early to go to sleep! I need alcohol, I'm going to the kitchen."  
"Crowley!"  
"What?! He's 12 years old, he must know what alcohol is! If you want me, you know where to find me."  
Aziraphale shook his head slowly. He would follow him, but not before he turned his loving attention to El.  
"Are you sure you don't need anything?"  
"Absolutely not. Right now I have everything I need," she reassured him, smiling, crouching on the sofa. The angel looked at her again, apprehensive, but then decided to let her rest and rather join that angry demon.  
Once she was reassured that she was alone, El drew a deep sigh, holding her head in her hands. It had been a crazy day for her, too, and her journey was beginning to weigh her down.  
That, like pain.  
"What are you doing, El? What?" she whispered to herself, grieving. 

Crowley had already had two glasses of red wine. He had just filled the third one when he found Aziraphale behind him.  
"Oh, hello, angel. Is the little plague sleeping?"  
"I don't know, but I left it there, I didn't want to be intrusive," he sighed, carrying a hand over his face. "Listen, could you pour me some, too?"  
The demon materialized another crystal glass, filling it with ruby red liquid and giving it to him.  
"Are you sorry yet?"  
"Oh, I'm not sorry, I'm just confused," he admitted, taking the glass and taking a sip. "There's something strange about her, isn't there?"  
"Good find! She showed up at your place, said she wanted to stay for a while and realized we're not human. But where did she come from? More importantly... why?! Why do we always have to deal with weird kids?"  
"You'd better keep your voice down!" he recommended. "Tomorrow I'll try - we'll try - to figure it out. Now it's late, and for some strange reason I didn't really feel like saying no to her. And neither did you."  
"That's not true! I accepted only to have you here!"  
You said it. And now that he had said it, he could neither deny it nor go back. He felt the need to drink more wine, and so did Aziraphale.  
"Y-yeah?" whispered the angel, his cheeks flushed. "Well, dear, if you wanted me here, all you had to do was ask."  
"Oh... Look, forget it", Crowley sighed. "Rather, do we really have to sleep together? El almost ordered us to, and I honestly don't understand why..."  
But it was a great idea. That little girl knew what she was doing. She had to admit it.  
"I-I don't have any kind of problem! I'll just sit on my side of the bed and not interfere."  
Crowley shrugged his way past him.  
"All right, but I don't use pajamas to sleep."  
Aziraphale became, if possible, even more red. In that sentence he saw us as a sort of provocation, or perhaps it was he who was travelling too much with his imagination. The demon had already preceded him to the bedroom, and going after him had looked at El one last time, who had finally fallen asleep disorderly on the sofa. He put a blanket over her so she wouldn't feel cold. Then she joined Crowley.  
"What did you mean when you said you didn't..."  
The words died down his throat. That shameless pervert had already stripped his clothes off and now he was only wearing black boxer shorts. Nothing like that.  
"Why are you looking at me like that? This is my house, I have to be able to sleep as I please. Don't tell me you're ashamed!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms to his chest.  
Aziraphale tried to say something, without much success. Yes, he was ashamed, but at the same time he couldn't help but look at him. Crowley was handsome, the most handsome of them all, he said, and it always caused him a series of intense and deep feelings, like at that moment.  
"N-no... I'm not ashamed!" he whispered. "But I always prefer to wear it anyway. »  
He turned to the other side so as not to look at him, making his soft striped pyjamas - in fact very similar to El's for the fabric - appear in stripes. Crowley smiled, unable to help but think how adorable he was.  
"All right, the right side is mine anyway. You don't snore, do you?"  
Stay calm, Aziraphale, it's just that he enjoys seeing you in trouble.  
"No, I don't snore!" he cried out. It would have been much easier to go to sleep somewhere else, but in the end he couldn't move even if he wanted to (and he didn't want to, at all).  
The only movements he managed to make were those that allowed him to get between the sheets, on which there was Crowley's perfume, a perfume he knew better than anyone else. He pulled the blanket over his back.  
Sleeping together was something intimate, in six thousand years of acquaintance they had never done so, and now by pure chance - or a twist of fate - they found themselves there.  
Crowley lay down.  
"I apologize in advance, but I'm restless when I sleep," he warned him.  
"Never mind, good night," he whispered. The demon took his hands behind his head, snickering.  
"Sure you don't want to read me a bedtime story?"  
"I'm sleeping!" he exclaimed, curling up on himself.  
Crowley, in his head, still called him adorable. He would not attack his purity, not that night at least, not least because he felt unjustifiably tired. Maybe because El had driven him out of his mind, her and even that angel after her.  
Crazy him to agree to such madness! But at least he'd earned a night next to Aziraphale. This was a more than satisfactory result.  
He closed his eyes, barely sighing. Thoughts soon faded, giving way to dreams.

The next morning, Aziraphale was the first to wake up. And the first thing he saw surprised him quite a bit. Apart from the sheets were unmade and crumpled, in the middle, between him and Crowley, El was resting.  
She had to focus on the image before she realized she wasn't dreaming: the little girl was wrapped up in the warmth that their presence had created, with a relaxed expression on her face. But most of all, the thing that surprised him most was seeing El sticking to Crowley. The latter did not seem to notice anything in his sleep. On the contrary, he held her gently, like the most natural thing in the world. He stared at them for a few moments, incredulously. He remembered having seen a scene like this before, even though he knew it had never happened. A very complicated, sarcastic and cruel memory.  
Some details you never knew if they really happened or were simply a deception.  
We almost look like a happy family... that'd be nice, right?  
That thought was fleeting, a matter of a moment. Soon El opened her gray eyes, barely stretching.  
"El, what are you doing here?" whispered the angel. "I didn't hear you coming."  
"I believe it, you were sleeping like rocks. Anyway, I don't like sleeping alone, it's a habit I've had since I was a little girl," she explained briefly, still wrapped in that warmth that would have been destined to last only a short time. Disturbed by their conversation, Crowley awoke, grimacing.  
"Huh? You! What the hell are you doing in my bed?!"  
"Good morning! You know you're very comfortable to hug? In fact, I didn't quite understand why you slept so far apart!" exclaimed El.  
"What? You ugly... get off my back right now!" he kicked her out, but she didn't seem to care, she had something else on her mind.  
"I'm hungry, shall we have breakfast? I can make crepes, I'll cook!"  
"Wait!", held her Aziraphale, rather sorry to interrupt her enthusiasm. "Sorry, El... but we should talk."  
The child's cheerful smile changed into an expression of awareness and resignation. She sat down, crossed her legs and waited for Aziraphale to speak. In truth, the latter would not know how to pose himself, because he was afraid of creating misunderstandings.  
"Uh... who are you?" he began to ask. El didn't stop looking him in the eye for a moment, with her quiet expression.  
"I told you, my name is El. Just El."  
"Yeah, right!" Crowley had got up, looking for something to wear. "Do something like read her mind, she won't tell us anything else."  
"No, no, there's no need!" she exclaimed, fussing. "I don't lie. My name is really El, and I'm from... well, I'm from this town, that's not a lie either. And it's also true that I can't go home."  
"But darling, you're so small, won't your family be looking for you?"  
"They're not here! I mean... not yet." El seemed to be in trouble. "I know this doesn't make sense, but I really can't go back, because... it's terrible."  
He said nothing more, but his shiny eyes made Aziraphale realize that whatever the story behind El, it was nothing too happy. Crowley would tell him that that wasn't their problem, but in truth the angel felt the opposite.  
"...and you just happened to find us?"  
"Not really," she said, calming down for a moment. "I've been through your bookstore many times before, I even came to buy some books, that's why I look familiar," she said, convincingly. "It's a nice place and you seemed nice to me... so I took refuge at your place. I didn't want to make trouble for you, but I have nowhere else to go. Anyway, if I stay, it'll only be for a short while."  
He froze, like he was afraid to keep talking.  
Crowley observed and listened to her, but skeptical.  
"I think you're making everybody up. Aziraphale, will you believe her?"  
"It makes me instinctively believe her."  
"There, I knew it! What are you, little girl? And don't tell me you're a vampire or a ghost or something, because you're not funny. "No matter how hard I try, why can't I feel it?" he asked quietly, almost as if he were talking to himself. El looked at him and seemed to be watching his soul with those dull eyes that were definitely hiding a brighter color. She shrugged.  
"...I am nothing..." he simply said.  
And technically, that wasn't a lie either. Nothing he said was, even if it was at the same time.  
Aziraphale heard Crowley sighing, perhaps he had resigned himself?  
"All right, all right. You know what? It doesn't matter. If you're really only here for a short time..."  
El seemed to take comfort in those words.  
"So I'm going to make pancakes now."

Life sometimes changed in really weird ways. Until the day before, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley would have expected to find themselves with a little girl who came out of nowhere. And now, to the devil's delight, she was in the kitchen fiddling around with a spatula, trying not to let the dough stick to the pan.  
"Look at this mess, I must be really crazy to let him do this," sighed the demon, looking at it from a distance, leaning against the wall. Aziraphale, who had just finished dressing, joined him.  
"Thank you for not insisting on that matter," he whispered.  
"Whatever's going on, it's beyond my comprehension. Because you're aware there's something going on, aren't you?"  
"I'm not naive this far. I know, but trying to extort information from her won't do us any good. You see her, don't you? She's always laughing, but there's a strange light in her eyes, like she's traumatized. And I also know it's no accident that she happened to us."  
"Well, good thing you're aware of that."  
He rejoiced when he realized that his third crêpe had turned out perfectly. He turned to look at Crowley and Aziraphale, who were talking close together, but who in his opinion were still too far apart.  
"Why don't you kiss each other?"  
Crowley raised an eyebrow.  
"Why should we do this?"  
She took a small blow to the head.  
"Right! You're not together yet."  
Aziraphale looked at her with grainy eyes.  
"A-all together"? We don't... we don't... oh, but look, it's getting late and I have to go to work!"  
"YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWAY!" exclaimed Crowley. "How can you think of leaving me alone with El?! I can't keep an eye on her."  
"You're right, darlings. El, keep an eye on Crowley."  
But you were making fun of him?  
Was he serious?  
El laughed, looking very happy about it.  
"I will! And I'll save you the best crepes!"  
Oh, that little girl. She was so adorable. She kind of looked like him.  
The angel took one last look at Crowley, as if to tell him to behave himself. And when they were left alone, Crowley found himself asking himself a more than legitimate question.  
"What am I supposed to do with you now?!"


	3. Excerpts

That damn angel was gonna pay for it. What was he thinking? To go off and leave him there alone with that infernal creature? He was a demon, not a babysitter. Especially not a baby-sitter for weird kids.  
About.  
El took out a plate of crepes - where did such a tiny little girl put all that food? - and now the too much sugar in her body wouldn't let her stay still.  
He had sat on the couch with his guitar, because he certainly couldn't stop practicing. And it would have been a lot easier, if only it hadn't been for that persistent, persistent voice in his ears.  
"For the love of Satan, will you stop or not?!"  
The demon turned nervously and exasperatedly to El, who had taken to jumping beside him, making him unstable.  
"It's not my fault, I ate too much sugar! It happens to me all the time!"  
"Then you'd better not have eaten any. I have to breathe, otherwise I might do something Aziraphale wouldn't be happy about."  
El made one last jump, falling down sitting down.  
"He's much nicer than you. He's loving and sweet, and he doesn't psychologically terrorize plants the way you do."  
"How do you know this?!"  
She looked up to the sky, thoughtful.  
"The angel told me. So, are you gonna let me try your guitar, yes or no? You can't play it yet anyway!"  
Crowley took a punch. That little girl made him nervous, and yet, as much as he wanted to take her and throw her out, he felt that in practice he wouldn't be able to do anything at all, he didn't know if it was because of her tender side or who knows what.  
He looked at her and realized that part of the problem had to be her. There was something that prevented him from being as mistrustful as he would have liked.  
"You're very impertinent, I'd like to know who the fools who raised you like this are. "All right, take her, but I swear, if you scratch her..."  
El immediately extended her arms, exclaiming, "Thank you!" Crowley found himself admitting that, the way he held her, she also seemed much more practical than he was. The little fingers caressed the ropes. He began to play, and shortly afterwards to sing, with a rather out of tune, but cheerful.  
_I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky  
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity  
I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva  
I'm gonna go, go, go  
There's no stopping me…! _The demon found himself gazing out for the surprise.  
"Do you like Queen?!" he exclaimed upset. El stopped, smiling.  
"Yeah. I'm good, right? My father taught me, but he's better than me," he reflected, almost melancholyly. Crowley noticed, but he couldn't actually squawk a word. El was annoyingly cheerful and cheerful most of the time, but there were moments when he lost himself thinking about who knows what, with a pain in his eyes that he didn't feel so far away.  
"Your family... what happened to them?" he found himself asking her. Aziraphale probably would've told him not to ask such questions, but he didn't feel the same way. El, who until then had looked at an undefined point in front of her, stared at him. Crowley couldn't have known how long he was staying. He saw her shake her head.  
"They're waiting for me to save them," he whispered sadly. It was so El, now he was never learning to understand it. Forcibly vague, always on the verge of saying or doing something he would never say or do.  
He asked you not to ask questions. And part of you feels that doing so would only cause harm, harm to everyone.  
Crowley recovered from his thoughts. He shouldn't have forgotten that Aziraphale had dumped him anyway.  
"All right, get dressed. Let's get out of here."__

____

____

Aziraphale trusted his demon's prowess with children. Crowley was good at it, though El had certainly put him in a lot of trouble. He'd put him in trouble too, really, simply because the demon couldn't tell what she was, let alone where she came from. She wasn't human, so maybe she was like them?  
Guys like them didn't look like little girls.  
Moreover, he had not perceived any power coming from her, but just because he was unable to perceive it, did not mean that he did not possess any.  
Where it came from and why, even these were questions that seemed so difficult to answer! Even searching through the mountains of books and books he owned, he found nothing. He had ruled out the possibility that he was a vampire, let alone a ghost or something. Crowley would surely tell him it was none of their business. But it was, since El had come so disruptively into their lives. And there had to be a reason, too.  
"Perhaps I'd better phone Crowley... just to be on the safe side," reflected the angel, taking off his reading glasses after a long but unsuccessful research on his books. He lifted himself out of the chair he was sitting in and approached the telephone. As he picked up the handset, however, he realized a book that he had accidentally found himself next to.  
Randomly a children's book, The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland. Maybe El moved it the day before?  
She just stared at him and then...

_One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw the Cheshire Cat in the tree.  
\- "Which way should I take?" she asked.  
The answer was a question:  
\- "Where do you want to go?"  
\- "I don't know," replied Alice.  
\- "Then," said the Cheshire Cat, "it doesn't matter."  
El turned a page. Autumn was one of her favourite seasons, because in her garden the leaves fell on the grass, creating a soft carpet on which it was pleasant to lie down to read. Alice in Wonderland was one of her favourite fairy tales, and in a way she saw herself in the protagonist.  
"EEEEEEEL! Where have you been hiding?!"  
She sat down immediately, not even paying attention to the leaves entangled in her hair.  
"What is it?! I'm reading!" she exclaimed loudly, showing the book cover.  
Crowley approached large stride, followed by a Aziraphale who was trying, though in vain, to hold him back.  
"Darling, can you not kill her?"  
"No way! There will be consequences even for you who dared to hide something so important from me!" the demon looked at him, then turned to the child. "What have you done to my car?!"  
El gouged out his eyes, looking at Aziraphale as if to say, "But wasn't that supposed to be our secret?"  
Well, maybe it was too much to ask. After all, she was the only one crazy enough to pull something like this off.  
"I...? I might have... you know... accidentally hit her with my ball... I was just playing, I didn't do it on purpose!" he exclaimed, blushing. "And then I hit it slowly."  
"Easy"?! GENTLY?!" Crowley got close, and in the meantime, El got up slowly. "He's got a dent! Over ninety years without a scratch and then you come in! My little..."  
Aziraphale was trying hard not to laugh, he knew how serious an affront this was to Crowley.  
"Come on, darling. He didn't do it on purpose."  
"Appuntp, and in any case you can always repair it by snapping your fingers," replied El with superficial air.  
She probably wouldn't be safe now.  
"That's not the point. The point is, if I catch you... ah, if I catch you!"  
El ran away immediately, but more than terrified she seemed to be amused by the way she was laughing. Right away Crowley went after her, fundamentally angry but also with the knowledge that he was going to go through with it (and for him this was a giant effort). Aziraphale put his hand on her face.  
"Don't run like that, you're making all the leaves fly off. Oh El, how many times have I told you to treat your books right?"  
Patient, the angel bent down to pick it up, reading its title.  
He was distracted by the high-pitched, playful scream of El, who was now in Crowley's grip.  
"Now surely you can't run away anymore! Aziraphale, I warn you, either you come and save him or I don't know what will happen to him!" exclaimed the demon, amused.  
The angel smiled in turn.  
"All right. I'm on my way." ___

____

-

It was something extremely fast, how extremely intense. A reminiscence arrived suddenly from who knows where. Him and Crowley when they'd already met El? He hadn't picked up enough details to understand it, but one thing that stuck with him was the happiness that permeated that memory so absurdly far away, but also so close.  
"The head," he complained. Indeed, the head had started to hurt when she remembered, and the pain, light but constant, did not hint at diminishing. He stopped thinking the moment he felt Crowley enter, in the company of El.  
"Oh, I loved that book when I was younger, before I went horror!" she exclaimed gladly.  
"Yes, charming," sighed the demon, then turned to the angel. "Thanks for dumping the little girl on me."  
"I didn't dump her. Besides, El likes being with you, don't you, darling?"  
"Of course I do," the little girl looked around, hands behind her back. "Look, why don't we go somewhere today?"  
Crowley took off his glasses to look at her.  
"I just don't see where we should go, the three of us!"  
"I don't know, let's go out! Let's go... let's go to the park? I want ice cream."  
"Go by yourself."  
"I want to go with you! Please!" he exclaimed dramatically, clasping his hands. Aziraphale stepped in, so they wouldn't end up fighting.  
"All right, all right! It's not a problem, I can close up for a few hours, it won't cost us anything in the end, will it?"  
Crowley raised an eyebrow, stunned. Of course, if he'd asked him, the angel would have made a fuss. If she asked him, that was fine.  
"Hurray!" rejoiced El, with sincere joy in his eyes.  
A moment of joy in despair, that's all he needed.

Crowley didn't really want to play happy little family. Besides, he and Aziraphale weren't believable, they weren't married, they weren't even together. But if all three of them walked around St.Jaims Park like that, with El in the middle, they really looked like family. The little girl looked at the ducks and thought she'd chase them and started screaming.  
"Screw-up child...", sighed the demon.  
"Same as you, dear," Aziraphale said. El had wandered off a little, and all of a sudden he turned around, lifting a hand.  
"I'll get ice cream for everyone! You sit down!"  
A messed-up little girl, yes, but also very smart. Crowley didn't miss the chance and immediately went and sat down, very messyly, on a stone bench. Aziraphale followed him, sitting more composed.  
After a few moments of silence, Crowley asked him a question.  
"Can you explain to me why we're doing this?"  
"Doing what...?"  
"Hell, this! We adopted that little girl? We know practically nothing."  
"It seems pretty obvious to me. She needs help. Although I don't know how."  
"And why should we help her? It's none of our business."  
"I think it's about us, even if I don't know how yet," she turned to look at him. "Are you sure... we've never met her?"  
Crowley looked at him surprised. What kind of question was that? Clearly they'd never met her!  
"I think I'd remember. I swear, never seen her before. Why?"  
How could I explain to him that he remembered something he wasn't even sure he'd experienced? Those they saw looked like them, but it couldn't have been them.  
"I don't know... it's just all very strange," he just said.  
"You could say that," he looked up to the sky, stiffened shortly afterwards. He hoped to talk about something else, for example about the two of them, where their relationship was going. Or where he would want it to end.  
"Anyway, if you're going to adopt her, the parents should at least be married, right?"  
He regretted it right after he spoke. Too direct, definitely. The angel blushed, looking away.  
"We are not married..."  
"I know we're not married!" Crowley blushed, blushing in turn. "Then you tell me, what are we? Because I'm having a little trouble understanding it!"  
He felt like a fool for not being able to hold back. It was just getting so hard, hadn't he held on too long?  
Definitely. Other than running too fast, he was going so slowly because of the fear of ruining everything, that he thought he couldn't make it. Aziraphale fretted at that question, which was totally inappropriate, or maybe not too much. What were he and Crowley? Friends, companions in misfortune, what else?  
Are we too united by an ineffable destiny, still impossible to understand?  
"We... we are we," he whispered, not looking him in the eye and not seeing Crowley's grimace,  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" That's what she would have asked him, but he didn't. He held back when he saw El approaching with chocolate residue on his lips.  
"Here I am! Sorry, I've already eaten mine. Here's the strawberry one for Crowley and the vanilla one for Aziraphale, here!"  
He stretched out his arms and ended up dripping vanilla over Crowley.  
"LOOK WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!"  
"If you ate it instead of talking, maybe it wouldn't run over you!" protested the girl, making Aziraphale's eyes look up.  
"My dears, you're making a mess! Crowley, sit down. El, stop, you're dirty, I have to clean you up."  
He pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, wiping her lips, which reddened immediately Crowley frowned.  
"I got dirty too!" he protested, trying to get her attention. El laughed, with her hands on her face.  
"Yeah, clean him up too!"  
Ow, ow, what is it with these two? Sometimes they feel like two peas in a pod.  
The excessive blood sugar in her blood had made El even more hyperactive. After a while he had forced Aziraphale and Crowley to get up and go after the geese again.  
"No more sugar for that little girl, it's not even healthy!" mumbled Crowley, tired. "Hey El, those feathers can bite you!"  
"You care for her, I notice with pleasure," said the angel quietly, but not loud enough not to be heard.  
"No, it's not true!" Crowley was determined to end it there. "Rather, what did you mean about us just now? That's not what I meant."  
"So what did you mean?" Aziraphale asked him, grabbing him gently by the wrist and forcing him to stop.  
If it was that easy to talk about it, Crowley would have solved his problems long ago. He didn't know what would happen if someone like him fell in love with someone like Aziraphale. Maybe nothing, maybe everything. He'd gotten to the point where he didn't know whether he was a foresighted or just a coward.  
"I meant the kind of relationship we have. What is it? Friendship? I don't think so, never was, not from me at least."  
Aziraphale felt his heart begin to beat fast.  
"So... so what's this from you?"  
Crowley put his hand on his face.  
"Why does it have to be so hard to talk to you?!"  
Exasperated, terribly. The cause of their interruption was again El, later, but this time for a very noteworthy reason. El's hyperactivity had led her to get run over (or run over, depending on the point of view), by a girl on her bike, who had ended up falling straight to the ground.  
"See, angel?! I told you it wasn't healthy all that sugar!", Crowley blurted out, hurrying rather to reach El, who had brought her hands on her head.  
"I'm dying!" he cried.  
"Oh, are you hurt?" the demon faked a sweet smile. "Because now I'll give you the rest!"  
Aziraphale meanwhile had dedicated herself to the other victim of the accident. And at that very moment, he seemed to have a déjà-vu.  
"...Anathema?!"  
The latter fixed her glasses that had almost fallen off, trying to pull herself together a little.  
"Why do we always have to meet like this, eh?" I sighed.  
It was a curious coincidence that El and Anathema collided and met like that, but luckily neither of them seemed to have been hurt.  
"What are you doing around here?" Crowley asked, as he held the girl's wrist tight to try to keep her still.  
"If you must know, I was out running errands, but I hate driving, I'd rather ride my bike while the weather's good and..."  
Anathema bowed her head, stopping to look at El, who in turn gouged out her eyes, giving her a smile. The witch immediately felt something different and very special about her because of her aura. Usually one person's aura had only one color, but hers had two. She looked at her, and then she looked at the two supernatural entities, not knowing how to pose herself or what to say.  
"But she... she's...?"  
"...we'd like to know, too," sighed Aziraphale. "Her name is El. She came to us yesterday."  
The little girl smiled, approaching the witch with her hands behind her back.  
"Hello Anathema," she greeted, with a different light in her eyes than usual, which the other immediately noticed. There was something she sensed, but not entirely. And surely both Aziraphale and Crowley must have been light years away from understanding something.  
"Hello... El..." he whispered, watching her closely.  
Fake. It was her eyes, her hair color, even her smile. It was all in her.  
"Sorry to bump into you, but this baby won't sit still for a second," Crowley snorted. The direct interested party continued to turn their backs on him, passing by Anathema.  
"I know, I know. You've always said it to me," he whispered in a low voice.

After the fall from Anathema's bike, Aziraphale had invited her to sit on the bench with him, considering that it had also been some time since they had last seen each other. As a result, Crowley was forced to look after El again. The latter had insisted on feeding the ducks, and he had agreed, though he preferred to keep his distance from those infernal birds, while El threw the crumbs into the water.  
"Darling, are you all right? How's it going with Newton?" the angel asked the girl, who was lost watching Crowley and El interact.  
"That's... that's very good. We've been living together for six months now. We also want to get married," she admitted honestly, but distractedly. Aziraphale was immediately excited. A wedding? He loved weddings viscerally. Or maybe it was just the idea that excited him.  
"But this is really great news! Do you know when?"  
"In... spring, I think", Antahema blinked, and then looked at him. "But where did El come from?"  
Aziraphale laid his eyes on that tiny little girl who laughed, while always hiding her melancholy in the dull irises.  
"I have no idea. She came suddenly yesterday and begged us not to ask questions. Which is a bit difficult, but on the other hand, I don't feel like raging. I think she's hiding something very tragic, because even though she's laughing, her eyes are perpetually dull. We don't know where he is coming from, why he is here, or why we are here. Now that I think about it, can you see anything in her? We can't."  
Anathema had imagined such a question, but even if she didn't want to know exactly what to answer, she didn't understand much either. El was something absolutely extraordinary, probably unique in the world, but she didn't understand how it could be there at that moment. But if there was, there was a reason that they all ignored. So, at least for the moment, he decided to lie.  
"I can't... I can't see anything, I'm sorry. It happens sometimes."  
"Oh... I see. What a pity," sighed the angel, but without insisting. What reason would she have to lie after all?

_Trying to read became very difficult when a certain demon and a certain angel decided to argue. Normal administration of course, El was also used to it, and taking his eyes off The Adventures of Alice, she looked up.  
"I don't care if you're famous, your fans need to be in their place. You can't be so condescending!"  
"Don't you always tell me I have a kind soul? Well, I have to be kind to everyone!"  
Hit and sunk, the angel found herself blushing. And let it pass that Crowley was making a breakthrough in music, after all, he was a pretty good guitarist, but the thought of all those fierce little girls who would throw themselves at him was not pleasant.  
"Then you keep your distance! After today's concert, a girl was trying to steal a kiss from you!"  
"Really? "Who?" asked the amused demon, just to rage a little.  
"Who doesn't matter! You're doing it on purpose!"  
El raised his eyes to the sky.  
"He's clearly doing it on purpose. What are you worried about? Don't you know he only loves you?"  
"At last someone saying something wise!" sighed Crowley, relieved. "But don't try to ruffle me, I won't buy you a guitar."  
"But I'm so skillful now! "Otherwise I'll be forced to steal yours! Yes, that's what I'll do. I'll become famous, so people will want to kiss me too!" he exclaimed dramatically, glancing at the demon. This last one I'll hold my lips, pointing at her.  
"No. Nobody kisses you. You're too young to think about such things."  
Maybe he deserved that little payback, but he'd never admit that.  
Aziraphale's jealousy soon passed and then the angel went to sit on the sofa next to El.  
"Darling, why don't you come out tomorrow? Maybe you can call Anathema. Or Adam. O…»  
"I don't really feel like going out, I have everything I need here," he mumbled, staring at the pages of the book without reading the words. "Besides, I don't see why I have to be human if I'm not."  
"Neither are we, and yet look at us," Crowley pointed out to her.  
"I look at you. And I see you have an identity. You are a demon and an angel. What am I? One or the other?"  
The angel looked at the demon with an expression that clearly meant, "We have a problem."  
El was cheerful, bright and lively. And she wasn't stupid at all, not at all, quite the contrary. She had a deep sensibility, as well as an admirable awareness. Crowley went to sit next to her on the free side.  
"You're both. Simple."  
El looked at him with an investigatory air and pointed.  
"Is that why I have eyes like that?"  
"Your eyes are beautiful," insisted Aziraphale.  
"Yes, but... there's no one like me in the whole universe."  
Crowley put his hand on her head, caressing her.  
"Of course there's no one like you. You are unique."  
The angel saw El smile and barely felt calm. He had no idea what it was like to be the only one in the world, but she was something absolutely extraordinary and perfect.  
"You're a special girl, El. The best part of us."  
The demon looked him in the eye, whispering a spontaneous "I love you" that he would not want and could not hold back. El shrugged it off.  
"You love me more..."  
"What?! Well, to make that comparison seems unfair!" mumbled Aziraphale, not bothered at all actually.  
They had been granted happiness, perhaps even more than they had ever expected. What reason did they have to think things might change? ___


	4. Dry tears

That was a really, really weird day. And Anathema had seen all sorts of things, so to admit it was already extraordinary. It was her encounter with El, the strange little girl she knew nothing about, that destabilized her. Aziraphale and Crowley didn't know much about it either, yet she had seen them behaving with her with an almost disarming naturalness. What shocked her most of all was her aura, two different colours that did not mix, yet they coexisted, almost embracing each other, the blue of hope with the red of passion. It was something absurd even for her, to the point that she was forced to remain silent, in any case she would not know how to explain it.  
I agree that those two were an angel and a demon and it was hard to surprise them, but there was a limit to illogicality.  
She had just returned to the cottage she shared with Newton, who, sitting in his armchair, had looked up, immediately noticing his girlfriend's thoughtful expression.  
"Did you have a good day, dear?"  
Anathema finally fixed his bike, puffing.  
"I had a really weird day. "As I was crossing Saint James Park, I ran into a little girl..."  
"You ran over a little girl?!"  
"Actually, she's the one who ran me over," she whispered, shaking her head. "But that's not the point. She was with Aziraphale and Crowley. I mean, they were together."  
Newton looked at her confused, not realizing what was so strange.  
"...and it's no good?"  
"I don't know!" he exclaimed. "I felt something strange about her, and as soon as I saw her aura... I don't know, I didn't understand anything!" she put her hand on her forehead. Seeing auras could be as much a gift as a curse sometimes. She always ended up understanding certain things before everyone else, and that wasn't always good.  
"What did you see?" asked Newton concerned. "What is he, like another antichrist?"  
"It's not a wicked thing, far from it. I just... I don't understand how that's possible! El had a little bit of both of us inside her. I mean, her aura. She didn't have one color. She had two. Blue like Aziraphale's and red like Crowley's. Colors that meet and squeeze together without mixing. That's why I don't understand!"  
Actually, his shock made sense now. Everyone had a unique and different aura, the fact that El was in such a special situation was no small thing.  
"I don't suppose you've mentioned this to them, have you?" Newton asked.  
"Of course not! I wouldn't know what to say. They don't know anything, and I don't know anything either. I don't know who El is or where she's from, but I know she's connected to them... although I don't know how!"  
He sighed. All right, he had to investigate. Maybe it wasn't something about her, or maybe it was something about her feeling.  
_El didn't just show up out of nowhere, nor is she here by chance.  
I could tell right away, looking at her, that she's hiding something terrible.  
What terrible truth are you hiding, El? ___

__It had been a more than satisfactory morning, but it was soon time to go back. El felt she had regained some lightness and joy that she had missed in recent times. After she had reached and opened the bookcase, the little girl had rushed inside.  
"So, let's see, what can I do now?" he asked looking around. "But in fact, I've already read all the books here..."  
"All of them? What do you mean?" exclaimed the surprised angel. She gouged out her eyes, smiling.  
"No big deal. It was just a figure of speech."  
Crowley had a headache. Being behind El wasn't easy, especially since he was talking all the time.  
"Ah... can I go now?" sighed the demon, tired. More than anything, he feared he'd be alone with Aziraphale again after his argument with him. El shook his head, clinging to his arm.  
"You can't! Let's stay together, please!"  
"Damn you, you look like a little doggie! Look, all you need is a tail and you're all set!"  
"I'm not a dog!" he protested, then looked at the angel. "Can you make us some tea?"  
Aziraphale thought that was clearly El's excuse to be alone with Crowley, but she didn't object, far from it.  
After all, he needed to stop for a moment and think. Where was their relationship going?  
In six thousand years he had never had any doubts, but now all certainty seemed to collapse. Did it start now?  
Oh, no. Maybe it started much earlier, only he was just starting to realize it now. He sensed and felt Crowley's desperate attempt to approach him in a way he'd never dared.  
And if just thinking about it made their hearts beat, maybe it was because they wanted and felt the same things?  
Once alone, El sighed, not detaching himself from Crowley, who on the other hand felt not a little uncomfortable. That little girl really did behave like a faithful, wagging dog.  
"Well? Will you get off or not?"  
Let me stay like this just a little while longer. Let me find some lost heat.  
El this limited and thought it. She rather smiled.  
"He likes you."  
What? Who liked him? Aziraphale? What do you mean...?  
"Clearly, everyone likes me."  
"You know what I mean. You love each other, I know it!" he insisted with a certain eagerness. And that wasn't the only thing he knew. On the contrary, there was so much information and unspoken words pressing on his lips. But he couldn't. Not yet, not like that, or maybe it was all an excuse because at least for a while she wanted to enjoy the happiness that had been taken away from her.  
Crowley found himself stunned. She was a little girl, but she knew what she was doing, and above all she said certain things with disarming ease.  
"How... What...? How can you...?"  
"Let's just say it's pretty obvious what it is," she shrugged. "If I can give you some advice, Aziraphale thinks a little too much. You're the couple's impulsive, and that's good. Why don't you invite him on a date? Oh, that would be so romantic, don't you think?"  
Now El had taken on a dreamy air. Among other things, she was romantic and dreamy, in this one she reminded him of his angel. Crowley couldn't help but assume an expression of surprise.  
"Did you happen to be sent here to get us together?"  
El was laughing. Oh, I wish. It would have been a much less ungrateful role.  
"Believe me... you'll get together regardless of me," he whispered. "But since I'm here, maybe I could give you a boost. Come on, you're completely lost to him."  
_And do you think it will always be like this? You'll always look at it the same way. _  
Crowley blushed. He didn't like to be psychoanalyzed or looked at, but El was right. He had been in love with Aziraphale since time immemorial, and maybe after all that time it was time to take a step in his direction... in another way?  
"I can't believe a little girl is giving me advice in love. But Aziraphale will never leave you alone."  
"You don't worry about me. Please go and ask him, come on!" El conjunse le mani. He seemed to care, but he wasn't wrong.  
The worst that could happen to him was Aziraphale saying no!  
"I repeat, I can't believe I'm doing this pushed by you! But if this thing works out, I don't want to owe you anything!"  
El carried her hands in front of her mouth, hiding a smile.___ _

____ _ _

____Aziraphale was wasting time making tea on purpose. He felt strange. Strange about everything, for El and Crowley. It almost seemed as if the arrival of that child coincided with the onset of his mental disorders.  
El had shaken something up, but she didn't understand why. There were too many things he didn't understand, and that didn't give him peace of mind...  
Crowley caught him staring at the kettle with his glassy eyes and decided to bring it back to reality.  
"You're in danger of blowing it up."  
"C-Crowley...!" leapt the angel. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in!"  
"I noticed," he sighed, crossing his arms at the chest and leaning against the wall. Damn it, he couldn't back out, not now. "Listen... this is all very embarrassing. Or rather, it's embarrassing the way it's going, since El talked me into it."  
"What... what step...?" the angel asked while pouring water into cups. The demon closed his eyes.  
"I become a novice idiot when it comes to you. Do you think you could give me a date? And I don't mean as friends..."  
"Ah! Oh, my goodness!"  
He had finished burning his hand, but that question had totally caught him off guard.  
"You stupid angel, what are you doing?" Crowley asked with apprehension.  
"It's not my fault! You asked me and I wasn't mentally ready. You mean, like, going out as a couple? On a date?"  
"Well... that was the intention, actually," admitted the demon, finally looking him right in the eye. "Also because... I guess there are some things that both you and I have to understand, don't you think?"  
Understand? If he looked at it like that, Aziraphale wouldn't understand anything. But he was right. If there was one thing missing in their relationship lately, it was clarity.  
Because after all... what were they?  
"Yes... I guess you're right," he whispered, realizing only after he got closer. "Then I... accept."  
Crowley rejoiced internally. That little girl was a genius, she had given him the push he needed to act, why at that moment it didn't seem to matter._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Then I'm going, El. Are you sure you're gonna be okay on your own?"  
Aziraphale had given a lot of thought to whether or not it was wise to leave El alone. He had thought about asking Anathema, but in the end the little girl had reassured him, saying that she was old enough to look after herself.  
She lifted her eyes from the book, sitting comfortably in the armchair. Clearly Crowley wouldn't leave her alone at home, so she would be at Aziraphale's, which was great for her, because she could read all the books she wanted.  
"Don't worry. I'm 12, not 5!"  
"All right, all right. If you have any problems, you..."  
"Oh, apprehensive angel!" he looked up to heaven. "Do you really think I'd do anything to attack your date? Don't worry and have fun!"  
He didn't know if he could more or less trust her for real. But he was incredibly excited to go on that date with Crowley.  
"All right, all right. But don't get out of here. Don't get into trouble, especially not."  
"Yes, Mommy!", the child echoed, without malice. Only when she was left alone, did El let herself go with a deep sigh.  
He was wasting his time. Though in fact time now had a very relative significance. He was afraid. He was afraid to tell the truth, why he was there. She wouldn't be believed, and even if she was, she had no idea how Aziraphale and Crowley would react.  
She didn't exist yet, not there, and yet both of them were bound immediately, they were drawn like two magnets.  
She stopped breathing to stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. She said she wouldn't cry, not while she was there, because everything was fine there. Yes, still. She was still in too much pain, images of death passing before her eyes, and there was nothing she could do to drive them away. She curled up on herself. She wanted so much to free herself, but her pain wasn't important, not at that moment.  
After all, if she got there after all, it was so that they would all get a second chance.  
He had to get a move on. You couldn't run away forever.  
I've already escaped._ _ _ _

____Aziraphale was in a completely different mood. His heart was beating furiously in his chest. He'd ridden in his car myriad times before. Yes, but not on a date. And most of all, Crowley seemed very amused by it. Or maybe it was just a way of hiding his nervousness, who knows.  
"Are you nervous, angel? You shouldn't be, I could understand if he was a stranger but..."  
"Crowley, don't look at me, look at the road!" he exclaimed. "You're gonna run somebody over!"  
"This can't happen. Anyway, it's about time I accepted it, I've been waiting centuries for an answer!"  
The angel gouged out his eyes, looking at him.  
"Answer to what?! You never asked me."  
"You'd tell me I run too fast, my dear," he whispered, pressing the accelerator.  
"All right, all right. Anyway... where are we going?" he actually asked curious. They hadn't talked about it and had no idea what Crowley had in mind.  
"You'll find out when we get there," was his answer._ _ _ _

____In Little Venice, Aziraphale had never been there. Maybe once, maybe twice, but he had never lingered, a real shame to see how enchanting that place was, his demon had had a good idea, not that he had ever had doubts clearly. A lovely neighborhood with picturesque and colorful houses, not to mention the Thames on which boats and boats sailed. And despite the people around them, there was an almost surreal, very pleasant calm.  
"You'd better get ready, because we're going to walk a lot," Crowley told him, passing by him, once again with a good time.  
All right, walking wasn't one of his favorite activities, but in that case he would have at least gotten some pleasure out of it. So she tried to go after him.  
"Darling, this place is lovely."  
"Yes, I know. It was El who suggested it to me," he admitted, shifting his gaze to the Thames. "Well, as you know, that's not all she suggested."  
"Yes, I do. Umh... were you gonna ask me anyway?"  
"What the... You know what? You might as well have asked me if you were impatient! And by the way, yes, of course I would have asked you. She gave me the push... that's all", she cleared her throat. They would always end up talking about her, but it was almost natural to them considering the impact she was having on them.  
"Oh, the push... I understand. Uh, maybe I... I should make sure he's okay? I feel guilty leaving her alone."  
"What guilt! Right now she's reading and eating chocolate while fantasizing about our date!"  
The angel smiled.  
"She's such a dear little girl..."  
"Eh... yeah..." Crowley soon realized he'd only betrayed himself with his tone of voice. He hadn't forgotten what El had told him about the family waiting to be saved. And he hadn't told Aziraphale that, not yet.  
"Why are you using that guilty tone?" the angel asked.  
Gee, I hope he doesn't get mad, or it's all gonna fall apart.  
"Because El told me something recently. "I know you begged me not to ask questions, but it just slipped out, and when I asked her about her family, she said she had to save them. But that's all she said."  
Aziraphale stopped suddenly. More than angry, he just seemed worried.  
"Save them"? Oh, no. I knew it, he's got a tragic story, maybe they're in danger! What can we do?"  
"How should I know? Look how you worry. Are you his mother?"  
"At most I could be her father," he pointed out. "And anyway, of course, I'm... I'm getting attached to it, just like you."  
Crowley would have wanted to deny it so badly, but the truth would have been impossible. He liked El. It was absurd, but she reminded him of Aziraphale in some ways. So he decided to keep quiet and change the subject somewhat.  
"All right, all right. But let's talk about us now. I think you've figured that out by now, haven't you? I like you, you like me."  
"Oh, well, dear, that's obvious. Of course I like you."  
"Yes, but I don't mean like a cake or a book, I'm talking about something else. But please, wait... don't make me say it, not here!"  
"What... what do you mean not here?!"  
Crowley had blushed and hadn't opened his mouth since. And then he was the one who was hard to talk to!  
They remained silent for the next twenty minutes, where more than anything else Aziraphale just panting and puffing for fatigue. Finally, after what had seemed a lifetime, they arrived on a bridge overlooking Regent's canal, from which it was possible to enjoy a beautiful view of the city, thanks also to the sun that was about to set.  
The days were getting shorter and shorter.  
"Oh... wonderful", he whispered, smiling despite the effort. Still silent, Crowley approached him, shook his hand and shook it.  
"Tell me I'm an idiot, I've imagined this moment in my head so many times. I tried to find the right words, do you know how many idiotic monologues I had to do in front of the mirror? I'm afraid it didn't do any good."  
In six thousand years, rarely had the angel seen him so nervous and excited. It warmed his heart of sweetness.  
"Darling, whatever you want to say, say it. Don't worry," reassured him.  
"Yeah, well... I admit it, I'm a little scared, all right? Because, like you said, I'm me, and you're you. I'm a demon, you're an angel. And I have no idea what... can happen to two people like us if they decide to be together. I mean, I'm not asking. Not... not yet... oh, Satan! I'm screwing up!"  
"Crowley!" Aziraphale called him back. "It's all right, it's me!"  
The demon took off his glasses, so that their eyes could chain themselves.  
"It's because it's you. You are the light, angel," he whispered, gently taking his face in his hands. "I don't know anything, I probably don't even want to know after all. But I do know one thing for sure. That from that day in Eden we found each other and that everything we faced had to lead to this. If I told you now that I love you, that I've probably always loved you, would you laugh at me?"  
Aziraphale had read many declarations of love written on books, but never as beautiful as those. Now she felt and felt Crowley's emotion, the heartbeat and the feeling that she could faint at any moment.  
Running too fast? On the other hand, how much time had they lost? And how much time was ahead of them?  
He brought his hands on hers, trying to formulate a meaningful sentence.  
"Crowley... I would never laugh at you. And I realized something, by the way. I think I've waited my whole life for a moment like this. I just didn't know it yet. I... I don't understand anything. I don't know why I feel what I feel, but I feel it."  
Crowley seemed almost calmed by those words.  
"Oh, angel... you don't know how much you've damned me. Now I won't ask your forgiveness for what I'm about to do."  
Aziraphale smiled and didn't even ask, because after all, maybe even that had been waiting for him all along. He moved forward and waited for Crowley to put his lips on hers. This happened shortly afterwards, and meeting like that was like rediscovering ourselves and getting to know each other for the second time. At first their lips brushed gently, almost with devotion. Shortly afterwards both of them had the desire and the need to go deeper. When their tongues met, caressing each other, they could discover each other's taste, indefinable in words, but so intense. Aziraphale clung on to him and wanted more, to feel more. He felt a mental connection, and so did Crowley. He felt so close to him, he almost had the impression they felt the same way._ _ _ _

_____We'll be together till the end, won't we?  
To the end. And even after. ____ _ _ _

______"Ah!" Crowley broke away violently after hunting down a moan. "What was that?"  
Aziraphale had the same reaction, because they felt the same... the same memory?  
"What... did you hear that?" asked the angel. It was happening to him again. With Crowley, he hadn't mentioned his weird flashback, and yet now it seemed like they felt the same thing.  
"Yes, I heard that. And I saw it. Or saw you and me, but what was it?" he asked, with one hand on his head, that he had throbbed. The angel shrugged.  
"I... I don't know. I'm sorry. It's happened to me before, but I don't understand why it's happened to you now."  
"Happened to you" what? That you had sudden flashes in front of your eyes? They hurt!" he mumbled.  
Their first kiss had been interrupted since then. Or maybe that's what caused it?  
"Yes... something like that. I'm sorry."  
"And why are you apologizing? It didn't happen because of you," he shook his head, then smiled at him. "Well, shall we say?"  
Typical Crowley to be able to cheer him up like nothing happened. And in that case it was almost a salvation for Aziraphale, who would otherwise have let himself go to his thoughts._ _ _ _ _ _

______They decided not to come back too late, considering El was home alone. Aziraphale had already imagined finding half the house destroyed, and Crowley had certainly not done well to convince him otherwise. But the demon had insisted on going in with him, certainly not because he wanted to see how the girl was doing.  
"El... please tell me you didn't set anything on fire," Aziraphale announced before he even went in. He was surprised when he realized El was exactly where he left her. Lying on the couch, asleep and curled up on herself.  
"I can't believe it, he's asleep! And we were so worried about it!" Crowley said, as he approached. El had never looked so helpless to him, he could swear he saw dry tears on her cheeks. "Shall we wake her up?"  
"No, let her sleep," the angel knelt down, making a blanket appear on him. Crowley was right, he tended to worry a lot about her, but it came almost naturally to him. The demon sighed, kneeling beside him.  
"All right, then she'll stay with you tonight. I don't think she'll mind. "This is all pretty bearable, but we should figure out what's behind it sooner or later, you know?"  
"I'm trying, Crowley. I swear, but it seems to be something beyond our comprehension. If what El told you is true, then maybe she just needs our help."  
"At least you're guessing, I'm not capable of it. Anyway... the creature here is quite pretty, now that I take a closer look. It reminds me of you."  
"Why me?"  
"I don't know, you have the same lips. But yours are yours."  
Aziraphale found himself blushing. Oh, God bless her.  
"All right... you can stay tonight if you want."_ _ _ _ _ _


	5. [Past] - The future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from this moment on , the chapters will be alternade between past and future. This is set in the past

5 - The future

There was nothing like playing a little after a night of fire and passion. Crowley gently caressed the strings of his guitar, producing a melodious sound. By now he was getting pretty good, hours and hours of practice were finally paying off.   
That was a beautiful day, made of rays of sunshine illuminating the room, unmade sheets and the smell of his angel on her. Aziraphale moved next to him, undisturbed, keeping his eyes closed.  
"Good morning, dear..."  
"Good morning to you, my angel. I didn't want to wake you," whispered the demon.  
"Don't worry... it's always a good morning with you," he immediately calmed him down, snuggling between the sheets soaked in their essence.  
He and Crowley had been together - together like that - for about a year. They lived together and did everything together, inseparable as they had always been.   
Although they knew each other by the beauty of six thousand years, every day was always a discovery. Every day was falling in love again.   
"I'll be able to play for you when I get good enough," the demon began to say, thoughtful. Aziraphale smiled, lifting the sheet to cover himself, as he was blushing.  
"Oh, Crowley... you really do have a romantic soul."  
"I have a romantic soul with you," said the other, putting the guitar aside for a moment and then bending over his partner. "It's no use covering yourself when you're blushing, we're already quite familiar. Besides, you know you drive me crazy when you're shy."  
"Aren't you tired yet?" asked Aziraphale, lowering the sheet fabric a bit.  
"Tired of you"? That is not and never will be possible."  
And it was the truth. Crowley bent down to kiss him and found out to look at him, feel him, touch him, again, relentlessly, without ever stopping.   
He skillfully overpowered him, trapping him beneath himself and kissing him, allowing their bodies to adhere perfectly. He loved that angel in an exasperating way, and for some months now the idea had crept into him that perhaps they could marry. Yeah, why not? They'd waited too long as far as he was concerned. Aziraphale would have been happy. Now all he had to do was ask them.  
Just the one.   
"Crow...", the angel moaned his name, breathlessly for that kiss so loud, warm, intense, that it had just awakened his senses. He wanted to be caught again, without ever stopping, and on the other hand Crowley wanted the same, but when he felt himself grasping the back of his neck and pulling back, he barely moved.  
"What's going on?" he gasped with his shiny eyes. Aziraphale, beneath him, was clearly excited, but also disturbed by something, as if he could hardly hide the pain.  
"I'm sorry, dear. You know, I'm not feeling well again," he admitted.  
"Oh, again? And this time you feel nauseous again? It's not because you eat too much, is it? Because you haven't been acting up lately."  
"Oh, come on! Is that any way to console me?!" Aziraphale took offence, slapped him on the arm. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on with me lately, but I feel weird."  
Crowley sighed, a little disheartened in fact, moving and sitting next to him.  
"Well, you can't be sick, you're not a fragile human being," he tried to calm him down, though he didn't understand much either. Aziraphale felt strange, and he was actually a little strange. Almost different, actually. Besides the fact that he ate far too much, even more than usual, resulting in nausea in the morning and sometimes in the evening, his eyes shone. And that should have been strange, it was said that eyes always shone when you were happy.  
His was a different kind of brilliance.  
Besides, he could've sworn he wasn't gonna tell her. He was getting too emotional. And moody. In such a destabilizing way, he didn't know how to behave often and willingly. Not to forget that he found him increasingly tired and fatigued.   
"Precisely because I'm not a fragile human being, I worry!" he said distraught, carrying his hand over his mouth. "Damn it, damn it... not again."  
"H-hey angel, not here! Last night he told you not to go overboard with that chocolate cake! But you wouldn't listen to me!"  
"Crowley, he's zi...!"  
She didn't get a chance to insult him, not right away at least. Aziraphale was tired of not feeling like himself anymore. It was as destabilizing to his partner as it was to him. Mainly because he didn't understand what the hell the problem was, but he hoped it would pass as it did.  
And he hoped soon, because he wasn't going to run to the bathroom all the time, as he was bending over the toilet.  
"All right, all right. I'm not going to fight, you're bad enough already," whispered Crowley, bending over to stroke his back, trying to hide his concern as far as possible. "Rather, are you sure you don't want me to call Anathema and tell her to come again?"  
Still unable to speak, Aziraphale shook his head, taking a deep breath.  
"There's no need, I'm fine. I mean, whatever I have, it'll pass eventually. Or at least I hope," he wished himself, smiling nervously. "And then now I need a shower."  
Oh, that angel. Stubbornly stubborn, but Crowley loved him for it after all.  
"All right, all right. But only if we shower together," he said, winking. It seemed to him that only this was enough to get Aziraphale in the right mood, also because sex in the shower turned out to be particularly satisfying. Lately his angel had even started to get more horny.  
Or maybe it was just her impression.

Crowley and Aziraphale had moved in together shortly after they got together. Theirs was a small and cosy house, warm and with a magnificent garden where the demon cared for and threatened as he wanted his plants.  
That day Anathema and Newton came to visit them, newlyweds who after the wedding had found themselves traveling a lot around the world in search of adventures. Taking advantage of their temporary return to London, they went to visit their closest friends.  
Aziraphale had greeted them cordially and kindly as always, serving tea and biscuits which of course he himself could not resist, while Anathema showed them the photographs he had taken during his travels.  
"Here he is in Paris. Here in Florence. Ah, here it is in Moscow, a truly magnificent city, even if a bit cold," the witch told with enthusiasm.  
"Oh, how wonderful. I haven't moved from London for a long time, in fact," the angel realized with melancholy. "Perhaps we should leave, don't you think, Crowley? I'd love to go back to Paris. We haven't been there for too long."  
"Yes, all right," sighed the demon, sitting disorderly. "But now doesn't seem like the time, considering your state of health."  
"Have you gone mad, Aziraphale?" Newton asked surprised.  
"Oh dear, no, not at all! I just haven't been feeling myself lately. Although I don't know why. But I'm certainly not sick!"  
"Actually you're weird, Aziraphale," Anathema narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure you eat enough?"  
"Believe me, he eats too much," whispered the demon, but not enough not to be heard.  
"You don't have to worry about me, I tell you! I'm all right. I'm an angel, what do you want to happen to me?"  
He tried to get up from the way he was sitting, but just doing so caused him a dizziness that almost made him lose his balance. Lucky for him. Crowley was already there to grab him.  
"Yeah! What do you want to happen to you, right?" he blurted.  
"But couldn't he go, like, I don't know, to a doctor?" Newton tried, hoping Crowley wouldn't insult him.  
"And what do you want a human doctor to understand?! We supernatural entities never get sick! We are not fragile like you humans."  
"I am a witch, I remind you", Anathema pointed out to him, standing up with his hands resting on his hips. "Can I check?"  
"Wh-what's there to check? I-I don't have anything!" Aziraphale panicked, not knowing why, maybe because the possibility of finding something bad made him panic.  
"Aziraphale, please, stay still!" the witch grabbed his arm, but the very moment she did, she retreated violently, backing away, and ended up against Newton.  
"Hey, what's going on?" this last one asked. She blinked, realizing something had changed. Or maybe it hadn't changed, she just hadn't been able to feel it before. Aziraphale's aura was contrasted with another.  
It wasn't around him, it was inside him. And he was quite surprised.  
Those minutes of deadly silence terrified the angel, who did not understand what could be so terrible as to silence her friend. Crowley tried to dampen the mood.  
"Well, what's going on? Is he possessed? That would be funny."  
The witch shook her head, approaching again, with the outstretched hand.  
"That's not it. It's just... I see an aura inside of you."  
"You see a... what?" asked Aziraphale confused.   
"I don't know, I just say what I see. "It's a small aura... but surprisingly strong. And then... wait. It's two colors. Red and blue... it's like yours."  
Crowley became rigid without knowing why.  
"What are you talking about? If you see an aura inside him, it means there should be a living thing inside him."  
He stiffened again, and his breath became very, very short. Aziraphale continued not to say a word, while Anathema approached him again, first resting his hand on his abdomen, and then descended a little and gouged out his eyes.  
"There, that's more like it! Aziraphale, but you... you're having a baby."  
"I'm waiting for a what, excuse me?"  
That question came naturally to him. He thought he couldn't say a word, but he just did. He didn't know he wouldn't be able to say anything else for a while after that.  
"What are you talking about?! It's not funny!" Crowley blurted out, at which Anathema gave him a nasty look.  
"If you don't believe it, why don't you check it out for yourself? If you come closer, you can feel it!"  
He would have gladly done without it. But it was all absurd, all too much... too much.  
Still stiff as a stick, he approached his companion, motionless and in shock. He touched the same point that he had just touched Anathema and almost had the instinct to pull back. At first he felt warmth, then a force he had never felt in six thousand years. He felt that something too, that life.  
"Oh, no. No. No, no, no. No! No way!" he began to say, laughing nervously. "It's definitely not possible. No, it's not..."  
"What do you mean it's not possible? You are a demon and he is an angel, don't you know how these things work for you?" Anathema asked him.  
"No, dear! Precisely because we are an angel and a demon. People like us don't reproduce, we don't feel the need, we obviously don't know how it works! IT NEVER HAPPENED, BY SATAN!"  
"Hey! Don't raise your voice!" the witch pointed the finger at him. "Newton, say something!"  
"Huh? Ah, yes! Congratulations to both of you!"  
"NEWTON, COME ON!"  
Aziraphale couldn't feel a thing. Not at all. Everything around him seemed awfully far away, muffled, a bit like he was trapped in a dream.  
"A-are you all right?" Crowley asked him, already holding out his arms to grab him in case he passed out. And indeed the angel felt that such a thing could happen, and yet it didn't. He simply sat back down, his palpitations a thousand and empty head, his thoughts blocked.  
"No, I don't feel well at all," he managed to answer with a little voice.   
"All right, he's in shock..." Anathema noticed, not knowing what to do. Crowley, meanwhile, had come up to him and had squeezed his shoulders with one arm.  
"Of course it is. Do you realize what you just said?"  
"Why are you picking on me? I just told the truth."  
Too much noise. And Aziraphale had an absolute need for silence. To stop and, if possible, to start again.  
"Stop talking, damn it!" he raised his voice, silenced them. He was upset. He never imagined such a thing was possible, otherwise he and Crowley would have paid more attention.  
But indeed, he wondered, as a supernatural entity, why should they think it was impossible?  
He tried to regulate his breathing.  
"I can't believe this... this didn't... I mean, this really happened?"  
Anathema understood his attempt to stay calm, so he bent down, talking to him slowly.  
"I unfortunately know as much as you do. But I saw his aura. And then it gives off heat, it's very peculiar. I'm not sure how important it is. The fact is... this creature is here. It exists, through both of us."  
Crowley broke away from Aziraphale, getting up.  
"I need a drink. Now."  
"Do you think it's time?" asked the angel.  
"Yeah, that sounds like the time. "You know, I'd invite you to have a drink with me, but how much is no longer possible!"  
Frightened by the prospect of a possible fight, Newton elbowed Anathema, who wondered why it had to be her.  
"Guys! You're only making it worse!"  
"I totally understand that you're shocked, but so am I. Because I'm the one most involved!" Aziraphale ignored her and found the strength to stand up and face Crowley.  
"But... are you throwing that in my face?! It's not my fault! How did I know I'd impregnate you, I'd use a condom if I didn't!"  
"You're a complete idiot, that's what you are!" Aziraphale looked rehearsed this time, almost to the point of crying. "How's this going to end? You're scared, so you're going to leave? Of course you'll go...!"  
"Aziraphale..."  
"And you're going to leave me in this situation alone! Even though it's your fault too!"  
"Aziraphale...!"  
"You really are a cruel demon. You will leave me!"  
Tired of being accused, Crowley grabbed his hands to keep him still.  
"I really wanted to tell you that I'm going to marry you!"  
Did he really say that? It wasn't exactly how he would have wanted to ask him, yet it came out of his mouth like this, in front of a distraught Aziraphale with tears in his eyes and Anathema and Newton with a confused expression.  
"Will you... marry... me?" whispered the angel.  
"Actually, I asked first. Ah... this is a mess", he noticed while massaging his aching head.  
Finally realizing she could be heard, Anathema stepped forward.  
"All right, everybody stay calm now. I know, it's a weird situation. But it can't be that different than it would be for two humans. About..."  
"Can't it be that different? I think I'm the only angel in this situation..." Aziraphale pulled up his nose.  
Crowley avoided answering, knowing that he would find nothing to say. Anathema had tried in every way possible to comfort and reassure the angel. In the end, however, he had agreed that it was better to leave him and Crowley alone, imagining that they had much to discuss.

And so it happened. Sitting next to each other, the two entities remained silent, listening only to the sound of the watch hands. The shock hadn't gone away and it probably should have been at least a few days. A certain Aziraphale had found the courage to press her hand against his abdomen and actually feel the small life growing inside him.  
I wonder why he didn't realize it himself?  
It was absurd, incredible... a miracle.  
"So we're gonna have a baby, huh?" Crowley suddenly asked, without even looking at his face.  
"Apparently," replied Aziraphale, staring at an undefined point in front of him.  
It was absurd to even talk about it.  
Because it made it real.  
But it's real.  
"I see... okay," the demon started saying. "You're right, maybe we should stop and breathe before we leave."  
The angel could sense from his tone that he was no longer agitated, only tremendously shaken.  
"How are you feeling?"  
"That's what I should be asking you."  
"Oh... I feel like crying again."  
"Please, angel. It took you so long to stop," he sighed, finally turning to look at him. "I'm sorry if I went crazy just now. It's just that I... I didn't expect it, I think it was obvious. But then again, you didn't expect it either."  
"No, it's not. That freaked me out. I mean, how does it work? It never happened and I don't know what to do about it. Will there be consequences?"  
"Now you're looking a little too far."  
"Of course I look too far. You know what, Crowley? I think you'd be right to abandon me. It's all too complicated. And believe me, I'm saying this for you and your future."  
The demon wrinkled his forehead, grabbing him by the shoulders, with strength but still careful to be gentle.  
"Now what are you talking about? You're my future."  
Those words blocked Aziraphale's breath, who, red in the face, made an effort not to cry. It was all uncertain, and that made him feel fragile.  
"But..."  
"No buts. Have you forgotten I want to marry you? Normal people do these things, get married, have kids... haven't you ever thought about that?"  
He'd actually thought about it countless times. Marrying Crowley and having a child with him, practically a dream. She just didn't think it could actually happen. Especially not like this.   
"Yes, I thought about it! In fact, if you take away the shock and the terror, I'm... happy about it," he whispered. He heard Crowley caressing his lips gently. He could swear, even in the demon's eyes there was happiness, joy and a whole range of emotions they shared.  
"I wish I could say! We've created a life, you and I...!"  
That sounded so sweet.  
No, in fact. It was sweet. As crazy as it was wonderful.  
"You didn't seem to think so just now."  
"I mean, a little while ago I was upset, now I'm recovering! The fact is, now I want to take care of you and our little angel."  
"Only half, dear," he reminded him. And even though he didn't say it, that was one of the things that worried him the most. Him, her, that little living thing that existed, what would it be like?  
Crowley, however, seemed to want to get him out of all evil thoughts.  
"You're right. You don't have to be afraid. We'll face everything together," he whispered in his ear. Aziraphale was forced to hold back the tears and a moan as she clung to him, embracing him.  
"I love you so much..." he whispered, feeling relieved. Crowley kissed his neck, then went up to his jaw and lips.  
"Me too, me too," he answered slowly, then deepening the kiss into something much more intimate and deep. The demon began to taste it, slowly but with a poorly restrained excitement, at which point Aziraphale found herself with her back against the mattress, sweetly suffocated by her kisses.  
"Crowley, do you want to... do it now?" he gasped.  
"And when else?" he asked over him and braided his hand. Aziraphale was afraid. They were both afraid, but he promised himself, as soon as he regained his clarity, that he would put his fear aside to support him. It would be strong for himself and for him, who needed it most of all. She kissed him again, preventing him from asking further questions, skillfully removing his bow tie and jacket. Every Aziraphale's gesture was but a silent entreaty to move on.  
Because all they needed was to make love at that moment, to feel and be there.   
The demon finally took off his waistcoat too, bending down to kiss the naked skin as he unbuttoned his shirt.  
"Crowley... Crowley..." he whispered, with his eyes closed. "Are you going to stop me from moving?"  
"Absolutely not, my angel. You're fragile now."  
"F-fragile?"  
Of course you're fragile, you idiot angel. Have you already forgotten that you have a baby inside you?  
And how to forget it.  
Crowley took off his black shirt slowly, showing a lean, dry physique. It was a spectacle every time.  
"Darling, you're beautiful."  
The demon started kissing him, everywhere. First on the neck, then slowly coming down on the chest.  
"You are, more so." After saying that, she opened her lips, carefully and devotedly sucking on one of the two nipples. Aziraphale took his fingers in her hair, holding them tight.  
"I- I mean, ah! "I'm not much of a man already. Now I'm gonna get even fatter."  
"Do you really think so?" he asked, rising for a moment. "I love your softness. I can't get enough of it. I love to grab you, caress you, kiss you..."  
His every word was fire. But a fire so sweet that he would gladly let himself be enveloped.  
Oh, and the touch of her fingers and her lips...  
Crowley had slipped on his body again, descending on his abdomen and particularly on his belly, resting his face on it.  
"Ah... it gives off so much heat," he whispered. The warmth that existed through both of them, he found himself and thought. Like their love.  
"He really exists," said Aziraphale, stroking his hair. It was real, it was all real. Crowley kissed his future goodbye, feeling for the first time that the fear had gone completely.   
"Crowley...", moaned the angel, again moved by that display of affection.  
"Please don't cry! It wasn't my intention!" the demon apologized, but the angel reassured him right away.  
"Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm great!" he didn't lie. All the fear and everything else in the world was gone.  
All he needed was to love and be loved. When Crowley realized he could go on, he took off his pants, this time with more impatience, and with them his boxer shorts. For him that angel had always been the most beautiful of all and would never change his mind. Feeling trapped by his tight black trousers, he stripped himself with fury, almost with fury, just eager to feel Aziraphale close to him.  
Once naked, she kissed him again, pressing her body against his, intertwining their fingers and rubbing herself first gently, then with more passion and desire.  
Their erections touched and touched each other, creating such an exciting friction that the angel moaned.  
There was so much to say, yet not a word came out of his lips, only sighs. He had to make a great effort to speak.  
"I love you so much."  
Crowley, who hadn't stopped paying attention, looked up.  
"I love you too, angel. Look, no extreme positions this time, okay?"  
Aziraphale was to be smiled at, for his care and attention, which would surely become many, many more than they already were. The demon slipped between his legs and took care not to burden him. By now his angel was perfectly available and welcoming to him, so a simple movement of the pelvis was enough to enter him easily.  
And let yourself go to a sigh. They had made love so many times that they lost count, but this time it was special. Perhaps because it was their way of calming and sustaining themselves, but also of expressing the joy and positive anxiety that that news had brought.  
"Crowley, I... ah..."  
"Don't hold back, angel. You know I love it when you lose control," he whispered in her ear, moving gently but precisely, hitting his most sensitive points. She was going to give him all the attention for that one time, that's what she wanted. Aziraphale started moaning even more than before, holding his hair first and then his back, sometimes choking his breath in such passionate kisses that he seemed to want to devour himself.  
"Touch yourself, angel," Crowley begged, not hinting at stopping. Aziraphale was shaken by a shiver and instinctively his hand moved towards his hard member. He began to masturbate, slow, seeing how the demon lowered his gaze to see him take pleasure in hearing him sigh.  
"So..." he urged him again.  
It all tasted extremely sweet, but also so exciting, that the angel could not explain it in words, he barely understood it.  
"Yes..." he gasped, his muscles tight. He had become quite good at having a certain amount of stamina, but at that moment he felt totally abandoned to the pleasure, perhaps even fragile, that he didn't take much care of. The pleasure that his hand and Crowley's thrusts were giving him created a mix too intoxicating for him to hope to resist. When the demon felt his breath accelerate and his walls begin to clench. He decided to push on him again and again.  
"Aziraphale," he stroked her name, then gritted his teeth.  
"Crowley, I'm... Stol...!"  
At the same time he spoke, the demon reached orgasm, sinking his face onto his neck and breathing in the sweet scent. And at the same instant it happened, Aziraphale came in turn, dirtying his abdomen and hand, expressing his pleasure with a high-pitched groan. And then followed the spasms and the not at all bad feeling of not being able to breathe.  
That was better. Now he felt light as a cloud.  
Still tired and exhausted, Crowley rose a little to look him in the eye. And then he smiled.  
Whatever happened, they would have walked in the same direction.


	6. Jumping through time

It all seemed like a good dream in Aziraphale. But when he opened his eyes, the next morning he realized, fortunately for him, he was wrong. Crowley was sleeping next to him, with a blissful expression on his face. It had been a quiet night, and he had really slept through it. At first there had been some embarrassment between the two, Crowley in particular had not known how to deal with the angel, so he felt a strong attraction. Aziraphale felt the same attraction, but he still didn't feel like taking that step. It would be his first time, their first time, and somehow it had to be special. Also, the thought of doing it with El sleeping in the room next door inhibited them enough. So they ended up falling asleep in each other's arms. Aziraphale had woken up first and stopped to look closely at Crowley.  
He had always had him by his side, and yet only now did he remember to look at him. He caressed his cheekbone with his fingers, longing to kiss his long eyelashes. Yet he refrained from doing so, not wanting to wake him up. Rather, he got up too, getting dressed. The house was strangely silent, he was surprised that El had not slipped into their bed the night before, or had not woken them up with her usual liveliness. On the contrary, the little girl was sitting comfortably on the sofa, with a book resting on her stomach. As she saw the angel, she smiled at him.  
"So, how was your date?"  
"It went well. Yes, it went very well, I'd say!" replied Aziraphale, a little embarrassed. "And on that note, I must thank you. If you'd left it to us, we'd have waited another century."  
"No, you wouldn't have waited a century, don't worry," reassured him. "I'm so... happy to see your love born. It's so exciting."  
Aziraphale smiled, but that same smile went out soon after. He hadn't forgotten the strange feeling he and Crowley had felt when they kissed. He had felt uneasy about it, and a heavy feeling and a gloomy omen seemed to weigh the air down.  
Don't ask me any questions.  
And yet it was so difficult.  
"Why do you seem to care so much about us?"  
El looked up again, not expecting that question. She tried to hide any uncertainty behind a smile.  
"I like you guys. Besides, it's clear you love each other. I couldn't just sit back and do nothing."  
"The thing is... you almost look like you came here for this. To get us together or something", Aziraphale ventured.  
The little girl sighed, put the book down and put her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.  
"Believe me, the reason I'm here is much less happy," he let himself escape and therefore cursed himself. The truth was pressing to come out, but just remembering it made her sick.  
"Crowley told me that your family's waiting for you to save her... he told me that you were the one who confided in them," he began to say, trying to be tactful.  
"Ah... she told you, huh?" she asked nervously, biting her nails. "It's a complicated speech."  
"I actually already figured that out. Still according to Crowley, you have a father. Do you have a mother?"  
El made a face.  
"Well... not really. Look, I don't want to talk about it. I will, but I still can't."  
"Darling, it's clear that you need us to solve this thing, whatever it is.   
it is, but we can't if you don't help us help you!"  
Aziraphale had gotten closer, sitting next to her. El serrò the lips, holding first the tears, then the desire to embrace him. He knew it would not drive her away, his fear was that he could no longer pull away.  
How can I explain this is all my fault? My fault for everything?  
But why don't I just stop existing?  
Crowley had just woken up and the first thing he saw was Aziraphale talking face-to-face with El. He would have been nicer to that little girl, after all, it was to his credit that they'd got that far.  
"It's almost strange that he didn't hear you laughing and screaming early in the morning," the demon sighed as he rubbed his eyes. El immediately changed her expression, smiling.  
"I didn't want to disturb you, that's all! Aziraphale, can I give you a hand in the library today?"  
"Y-you want to give me a hand? I don't have a problem with that, but I don't know if it's right to let a little girl work."  
"It's not a job for me, it's fun!" he clarified.  
"Ah, did you hear that?" Crowley smiled. "I could really use a shower right now."  
"But I've got to do it too!" protested El, doing to meet him. But promptly the demon placed a hand on her forehead, blocking her.  
"Well, you mean you'll wait your turn!"

Aziraphale could get El to talk. He didn't want to force information out of her. It wouldn't have been right or subtle. Or would it have been easier to respect her wishes and wait?  
No matter how hard he tried, he knew it was hard. Somehow he and Crowley had more to do with it than either of them thought.  
Meanwhile, El had proven herself a good helper. She knew her way around and where to put the books, she seemed to have always been there. The little girl had just finished arranging a stack of tomes on a shelf at the bottom, when Anathema entered, to Aziraphale's amazement.  
"Anathema? How nice to see you. I didn't expect you."  
"I didn't really plan on coming here," he lied. He had planned that visit, he had a visceral need to understand and know, and only by being in contact with El could he hope to reconnect the pieces. The little girl, meanwhile, had smiled at her.  
"Oh, I see. Have you come to buy something? Or...?"  
Anathema pointed to El with his eyes, clearing his voice. And Aziraphale understood that perhaps his intent was to study her, to try to understand her and grasp something.  
"Amh... okay, I get it. I'm just gonna go in the back, leave you two alone. Don't make trouble!"  
El hid a laugh behind one hand, while a very uncomfortable Anathema looked at her.  
"Well, hello. »  
"Hello! You came here for me, didn't you?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips. "I know you're a witch and you can see the auras."  
"Ah... do you know?" he asked in surprise. "And you know you have a particular aura?"  
She shrugged, turned around and went back to fixing books.  
"I am particular. But please, can you not psychoanalyze me?"  
Anathema approached, placing the bag on a small table.  
"I'm not a psychologist, I'm a witch, you said so yourself El... but El is short for what?"  
"It's not short for anything. It's the initials of my two names. Emma and Lyra. Yeah well, my parents couldn't decide, so they gave them both to me. It's just too long. i mean, who says, "hey, emma lyra, you wanna come play?" El is much more immediate."  
That lively explanation made the witch laugh, and she began to feel a certain familiarity.  
"You're good, El. And I like you. Besides, your aura is two colors. Red and blue, like Crowley and Aziraphale. Could you explain it?" he asked, looking at her intensely, but she didn't seem at all disturbed or frightened by that look.  
"And can you explain that? The witch is not me among us. Take the most logical explanation you have and expose it."  
There was nothing logical about this, Anathema realized it, but El seemed more willing to talk to her than to those two.  
"I think you're connected to them somehow. It's like you're the perfect union of Crowley and Aziraphale. I don't know if that's possible, but the thing that upsets me the most is that you suddenly appeared, as if you weren't really part of it."  
"...or this weather," he whispered, but not enough. The witch looked up, realizing that perhaps, one of the many absurd theories she had made up, was perhaps not so absurd.  
They observed each other for a few moments and then both moved their faces towards the entrance, crossing their eyes with those of an archangel.

If Anathema had been able to find anything out, Aziraphale would have owed her for a long time. Especially since it would have taken a great deal off his mind. There was a lot of eavesdropping, but that would have been wrong, so he would have stayed in his place.  
Crowley suddenly appeared in the back, finding it much more fun than using the door like people did. But this time the angel had not leapt, perhaps too much in his thoughts.  
"What are you doing here?" asked the demon, taking off his glasses.  
"Crowley. At best I should be asking you, you just showed up out of the blue."  
"I expected a different welcome, angel," whispered the demon, languid. Aziraphale barely smiled, feeling a rush of adrenaline. Not only was their feeling obvious, but also the strong physical and sexual transport they felt for each other. He knew it was only a matter of time before they both gave in. He certainly couldn't take much. She walked up to him and squeezed his shirt with her fingers, kissing him with her eyes closed. He hoped that something wouldn't happen to him like the time before, but to his great relief that was a normal kiss.  
"Mmm, here we go now," whispered Crowley. "Where's the little girl?"  
"Over there with Anathema. They're talking..."  
"Oh, yeah? Well, that's good, because I have something to talk to you about. »  
"Talk to me? About what exactly?" he asked, unable to hold back.  
Crowley frowned.  
"The nervous one should be me, as I'm at risk of being told that maybe I'm rushing too much," after which he breathed deeply. "All right, maybe I'm rushing a little... but I'm not! "We just got together, but since we've been seeing each other for ages, I thought maybe..."  
"Yes...?" he asked, inviting him to speak again.  
"Maybe we could, like, move in together. There, I said it."  
There was something terribly adorable about Crowley blushing like that. Moving in together wasn't a bad idea at all, far from it.   
"Living together? I didn't think you'd ask me that so soon, but then again, I don't see what would be wrong with it, since we're a couple."  
"I mean, are you saying yes?" he asked surprised. "But then you're not as reticent as you look! Of course, now that you've got on the merry-go-round, you don't want to get off, do you?"  
The demon came close, wrapping his shoulders around him. Aziraphale felt his face go on fire as he felt his body adhere so perfectly to the demon's. And also the excitement pressing against hers.  
He looked up, grimacing.  
"Crowley, I feel something..."  
"Sorry, angel, you're turning me on."  
"I-I wasn't talking about that!" he exclaimed, then became serious. "I mean there is someone."

An archangel, a witch and a little girl had just met.  
Why?   
Gabriel wondered that, why? And yet he had only come for a check-up, but the moment he met El's strange eyes, he immediately realized that he would not have five minutes easy. The girl's eyes had lit up, this Anathema had seen him and had assumed that they knew each other in some way.  
"Hello! You are Gabriel, the archangel," exclaimed El indicating it.  
"Yes, and you're creepy," he dismissed her coldly, turning to Anathema. "I'm looking for Aziraphale, what are you, his secretary?"  
The witch frowned, doing to answer him in a very unkind manner, but there was no need. As soon as the angel and the demon had sensed her presence, they appeared, standing as a shield between Gabriel and El.  
"Ah, there you are. I should have imagined you were together... as always, after all", the Archangel began to say, in a contemptuous tone.  
"What are you doing here?" Crowley seemed ready to snap at any moment, which is why Aziraphale tried to keep him at bay.  
"It's okay, Crowley. Gabriel," the angel looked at his superior. "Is there a problem?"  
"Thank God, no. As much as it bothers me, I have to come and check it out sometime. "Even though you're acting human, you're not," I look at Crowley, grimacing, and then he looks at El. "And this is yours?"  
"This is El. And she's... well... something!" he tried to explain Aziraphale. He didn't like the idea that Gabriel was too interested in El (Crowley especially didn't like the idea), but the girl seemed comfortable.  
"I'm not a thing, I'm a child. Will you be my friend?"  
"Absolutely not."  
"I imagined, but sooner or later you'll change your mind," she said quietly, leaving the two entities rather perplexed: she was not at all afraid of the Archangel, she addressed him as if she had known him forever. Gabriel looked at her, trying to see something in her.  
But he felt nothing, the utter emptiness. She just realized she wasn't human, of course.  
"Do you and I know each other?" he asked. She put a smile on her face.  
"Not exactly, but..."  
Crowley interfered again, to interrupt them. He didn't like the idea of Gabriel talking to El. He didn't tend to trust that archangel very much.  
"If you checked what you had to, you can leave now," he smiled nervously, receiving a stern look in return.  
Something was wrong. Those two were hiding a secret. They, the woman and that little girl he couldn't read anything about.  
"You should tell your boyfriend to learn to hold back that forked tongue. Ah well, I'll let your boss know to keep you at bay. "Watch what you're doing, Aziraphale. Remember, you're always watched."  
The angel became stiff without knowing why. Keeping an eye out for what? After all, he hadn't done anything strange. Or not yet.  
The Archangel dematerialized, and when this happened, he heard a sigh from the two supernatural entities.  
"What did that guy want? He called me a secretary, mah..." Anathema complained.  
"Gabriel is my superior, he controls me from time to time," explained the angel.  
"Yeah! And you, El, try not to get close to him. That guy's dangerous!" the demon recommended the demon, leaving her stunned.  
"But that's not true, he's a good person and he's my friend," he said.  
 _Well, not yet, actually. _  
"Your what?! Stop joking, this isn't funny!" Crowley said again, stern. It was amazing the things El sometimes said with disarming naturalness.  
The angel clarified his voice, trying to lighten the atmosphere.  
"Come on, dear. Don't worry, nothing's happened after all."  
"Pity me"? I'm actually in a good mood, considering you agreed to live with me!"  
Aziraphale burst into flames, looking at him wrong. She had hoped to say it later, but in the end what could she expect from her impulsive boyfriend?  
"Oh, you're moving in together? It was time at last," was Anathema's simple answer, those two had convinced each other once and for all.  
"Hurray, well done," rejoiced El. "When do we move?"  
"Who said you're coming with us? You're not part of our family," Crowley pointed out to her, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yes, I do!" he exclaimed, imitating her expression. "You have no idea!"  
Aziraphale smiled, but only for a few moments. He felt again an unpleasant sensation in his head, as if it were about to explode. But he knew this was not what was going to happen.  
He was going to remember, still...__

__"El? El! Where is that little girl hiding? Why does she always disappear all of a sudden?!"  
The angel Aziraphale was desperate. He could have sworn he let El play in his room until five minutes earlier. And now she was gone, no trace.  
"Oh, she must have hidden her presence, you know what she's like," Crowley reassured her. Her husband gave him a nasty look.  
"Yes, I know what she looks like. She has a tendency to get into trouble, just like you."  
"Why must he take the faults only from me?!" he asked sadly.  
Ridiculous, the daughter belonged to both of them, yet only he was accused of passing on faulty genes, such as the propensity for trouble. But he was fine with it, too. Aziraphale was already too preoccupied with El. Not that he was any less, in fact, he just got better at hiding it.  
But he didn't blame his angel. She knew very well why she cared so much.  
"EL!"  
The little girl, about six years old, had suddenly reappeared, almost giving him a stroke. And she was as quiet and undisturbed as ever.  
"Oh, did you see that? I said he was all right," Crowley did, drawing a deep sigh of relief inside. But the angel did not listen, kneeling before El and grabbing her shoulders.  
"I've told you many times not to dematerialize and disappear. "And that you must not hide your presence from us, do you understand? If something happens to you, we won't be able to find you," he explained.  
El was different from any creature in existence, different from angels and demons. Besides being endowed with remarkable strength for her young age, she was also capable of hiding her presence and strong power at will. This Aziraphale and Crowley had had the opportunity to understand this over time, when sometimes, suddenly, they no longer felt the presence of El even though they had her nearby. It was only later that Aziraphale realized that perhaps this was the same reason why he hadn't realized he was waiting for her six years earlier.  
Besides, El was very good at changing looks. She could change the color of her hair and eyes, a little bit the shape of her face, but it wasn't something she did often. In the end, she liked her hair blonde, but with shades and red ends, and two-tone eyes. Blue the right one and golden the left.  
"I didn't disappear. Daddy you know, I'm a time jumper!" she exclaimed gladly...  
Crowley made a face.  
"What... does that mean time jump?"  
You knew your daughter never told lies. But she'd never heard of anything like that. El swelled her cheeks, gesturing.  
"What a time jump!" he exclaimed of course. "But I don't do it on purpose, it just happens, when he wants it, I don't decide! I've gone on for... two hours! I know this because the clock was set to a different time and it was time to sleep. But it was only for a short time, because I jumped... immediately backwards!"  
Aziraphale gave her husband a worried look. He had never heard of anything like that either. Jumping through time? That was something that had never even concerned beings like angels and demons, but considering the situation, it was not impossible.  
"And what did you... what happened there? Where were you? Did you talk to anyone?"  
El shook the boss.  
"It was only a moment and then I left. It had never happened to me before. Is this one of my powers too?"  
And among all the other things, El was smart, too. Sensitive, like Aziraphale, determined and stubborn like Crowley. And she was aware that she was different from everything and everyone, that she was different by definition.  
"I don't know, honey. Maybe. We don't know how this thing works, so be careful."  
"And what happens if I jump again... away?" he asked with languid eyes.  
Crowley knelt down, stroking her face.  
"You'll just have to come looking for us."  
El gave him a beautiful smile. Fortunately, she was still a child.  
Luckily, he was still innocent. And luckily he didn't know how cruel the world could be.  
Aziraphale hadn't stopped thinking about what his daughter had said. Even after the child had been put to bed, he kept thinking about it while he sat in his armchair.  
"Angel, take it easy," Crowley, sitting next to him, caressed the strings of his guitar. "El can travel through time, so what?"  
But did he seriously just liquidate the whole thing like this?  
"I don't know. Not knowing and not knowing unnerves me. Besides, it's not so much that. El is extraordinary, she's so smart, she has so many of those abilities... but she also has such great power. You know that when she grows up, she's gonna be stronger than us, right?"  
"Of course I do!" he said proudly, then saying out loud what were both their fears. "Don't worry, none of us will bother her. She's just a child, she's not hurting anyone."  
As if they care about the kids up there or down there or not.  
"I hope you're right, Crowley. El exists, and it's our job to make sure it stays that way."  
Crowley reached out his hand right away and shook it. The birth of that child had made them both better, perhaps more frightened, but stronger. It had changed the light in Aziraphale's eyes, that even as an angel he would kill anyone to protect her.   
And Crowley would have gotten himself killed protecting both of us, but he wouldn't have gone that far.  
 _It was just a fear. _____


	7. Fears

Existence never ceased to amaze, no matter whether one was immortal or not. Aziraphale and Crowley had lived for centuries, yet they had found something that still amazed them.  
The angel sat thoughtfully at the kitchen table, writing something on a piece of paper.  
Planning a wedding was not easy, especially if you added the arrival of a child to it. And a newborn baby needed a lot of care and attention. But one thing at a time and they'd make it, or so he hoped. Crowley approached him, placing a cup of tea on the table, which he had sweetened with a spoonful of honey. This gesture made the angel smile. If his demon had always been attentive and caring, lately he had even got worse (or better, depending on the situation).  
"You shouldn't get too tired."  
And indeed, his reprimand was not long in coming.  
"But darling, I'm not tired, I'm sitting."  
"Yes, but you get mentally tired. I told you I'd take care of everything!"  
"Yes, and when exactly? I love you, but you know you always cut down at the last minute."  
Crowley simply mumbled "it's not true", but he didn't say it out loud. As if that wasn't enough, now he couldn't even get angry, he had become a wimp, and he was afraid it would only get worse.  
"All right, then I'll try to help you out," he answered patiently. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to think about first. My mind is always on you and the baby."  
Aziraphale was learning not to melt too much at such statements. He knew when Crowley was proud, surely his demon was already suffering enough to see himself so softened.  
But he had to admit that raging was fun.  
"Would you like a boy or a girl?" the angel suddenly asked.  
She saw him gouge his eyes out. A few days had passed and by now both of them were metabolizing the idea that there would soon be three of them. Even though there was still something extraordinary and incredible left.   
Crowley slipped his hands into his pockets, lifting his eyes to the sky.  
"Uh... a female."  
The answer surprised him quite a bit.  
"Really? I did not see that coming."  
"The girls are... cute!" he blushed. "Anyway, my paternal instinct tells me it's going to be a she. And I hope it is, because I've already chosen a name."  
To say he'd moved on was an understatement. The angel found himself again surprised, but also vaguely annoyed. I mean, the name had to be decided together. Or maybe just him, since he was doing most of the work.  
"And what name would you have chosen?" he asked with a veil of concern and in the hope that his companion had not opted for something strange.  
"Lyra," he answered proudly. "It is the name of a star and it is also the name of a musical instrument. I'm a musician, so it's perfect!"  
Aziraphale barely toasted, looking at him.  
"Dear, I don't know, he's cute, but I'm not convinced."  
He said that under his breath. Because he knew Crowley well and he knew how touchy he could be. In fact, the demon frowned and crossed his arms to his chest.  
"Oh, no? Why not? What's wrong with the name Lyra?"  
"There's nothing wrong with him. But don't you think I should decide too? After all... I'm the hard man in all this!" he muttered slightly grumbled and Crowley became stiff. It was best to take it easy on him. He shouldn't have forgotten how emotional his angel was by now.  
"All right, all right, let's hear it then, what would you like to call it?"  
Aziraphale looked away. He had actually thought about it a lot in those days, even if it was soon a name was still an important thing and had to be chosen with care, it was no small responsibility.  
"Emma," he whispered after a while. Yes, Emma had a sweet sound as well as a nice meaning. And for a possible baby girl of hers, it would have been perfect.  
"Emma?" repeated the demon, then shook his head. "I don't like it, it's too melodramatic."  
"But how sweet? I got it from a novel I like so much[1]. »  
"Ah, there, that explains it. Never heard of a demon named Emma."  
"He'll only be half demon, dear!" he said upset. "You're so cruel..."  
Crowley put a curse on himself. He couldn't say anything, any word could be used against him. And the last thing he wanted was to make Aziraphale cry again.  
"All right, all right, all right, I'm sorry!" he apologized. "Then let's keep them both in mind, all right? There's still time to decide."  
Saying this, she came up to him, hugging him. Oh, how much patience and courage. The angel squeezed close to him, breathing his perfume.  
All right, maybe she was taking advantage a little bit, but the emotion couldn't control her.  
"I'm hungry..." he confessed later. "I'd like something sweet."  
The demon sighed, with his lips resting on his forehead.  
"All right, I'll take care of it, but don't exaggerate, nothing, sorry!" he shut up just in time to avoid a tragedy.   
Life with her angel had always been beautiful and full of discovery. And since they had found out about that miracle they had both spawned, it was even better. Aziraphale was still him, of course, but he was also different. Maybe the light in his eyes, maybe his bright smile, maybe the fact that he seemed happier. And on the other hand he was, they both were, terribly, and perhaps they were also unconscious, having no idea what they were facing.  
But it didn't seem to matter, not as long as they were together.  
"I'm going to open the bookshop," Aziraphale began after eating five or six biscuits, at which point Crowley looked at him wrong. He had tried to forbid him in every way to work and make too much effort, but of course the angel had refused to listen to him.  
 _"Darling, I'm not sick, you can't expect me to sit around and do nothing." _  
So her boyfriend and future husband had left.  
"All right, all right. But I'm coming with you," he finally decided, without further discussion. If he felt stupid to be so apprehensive? Enough, but there was talk of Aziraphale and his family, so he could afford it. And the angel on the other hand let him. He knew no one could take care of him the way Crowley did. He knew how he tried to hide any doubt or uncertainty just to give him strength. He admired this strong side of him very much, perhaps what he sorely needed. But on the other hand, he was fine. Of course, he was still frightened and assailed by a thousand doubts and questions, but they could do it.  
If they had averted the end of the world and a war between factions, they could have succeeded in that feat... perhaps.  
So yes, he would have been happy to support him as best he could. Of course, the demon did tend to go a little overboard with "Don't stoop" and "Let go, I'll get it!"  
He was fragile, but not that fragile!  
"You don't seem so worried that I might get tired in bed," the angel suddenly pointed out to him, while Crowley offered to put the books in his place. The demon turned to look at him, red in the face.  
"That's not true! I have a lot of regard for you. Besides, you're the one with such overwhelming desires."  
"It's the pregnancy! I read it in a book!" the angel immediately defended himself.  
"Sure, like you don't know you're taking advantage," Crowley walked up, slow. "I know you want to right now. What do you say, a quick quickie?"  
"But someone might come!" he tried to reason with him. But Crowley could be very convincing, like his lips and his whispering words. Aziraphale probably would have let him, if only he hadn't sensed an unusual presence, but one he knew well.  
She put her hand on his chest, barely moving it away.  
"Come on, have you changed your mind?" Crowley asked, only realising later why he reacted. Someone had walked in, but it wasn't human. It was an archangel they both knew well.  
Since after the apocalypse, no one had bothered them. Of course, every once in a while one of their superiors would come and check what they were up to, and it was often Gabriel's job.  
There would have been no problem, if only the two entities didn't have a little secret to hide.  
"G-Gabriel! What are you doing here?!" began Aziraphale perhaps too nervously, at which point his superior looked at him surprised.  
"Actually, I'm here to do what I always do, check up on you. Hello, demon," he turned to Crowley, with a hideously polite smile on his face.  
The other had difficulty refraining from insulting him, but also from being too protective. He preferred no one to know.  
"Everything's fine here, there's absolutely nothing wrong! Nothing new, nothing at all!" exclaimed the angel, nervous. His companion looked at him, as if to shut him up. He was becoming suspicious.  
And indeed Gabriel became suspicious, not so much because of his words, but because he had noticed something different about him.  
"Aziraphale, you've changed."  
 _Damn it. _  
"I-I? Really? I don't know, I've been the same for six thousand years!" he smiled nervously, trying to escape the inquisitive gaze of the archangel, who had perceived something strange in him.  
But not even his great power could tell him exactly what it was about, he only knew that there was something different in Aziraphale, something he couldn't explain.  
"Are you sure? Because I have a feeling you're hiding something."  
Crowley frowned, determined to intervene. They were minding their own business, not least because he didn't know how they might react.  
"He's fine! He's just nervous and stressed out because we're getting married soon!"  
The angel gouged out his eyes. Not exactly the best thing to say, but certainly better than anything else. Gabriel assumed a shocked expression, he believed it but wasn't entirely convinced that it was all there.  
"I wonder why, but I'm not surprised. Anyway, I'm more than certain that you two are up to something," he continued to address Aziraphale.  
"Yes, we were actually planning to invite you, I hope you won't miss it!" Crowley improvised in an attempt to get rid of that nuisance.  
"You two are crazy. Do what you want, but don't meddle me in your weird affairs! And don't. Combine. Trouble."  
Aziraphale merely nodded. Maybe they had escaped danger. Maybe Gabriel hadn't sensed anything.  
But what was he thinking? Of course he understood something, and that worried him. He had no intention of endangering his family for anything in the world.  
"Ah, don't worry. No one will disturb us," Crowley reassured him, his eyes still fixed on the spot where the Archangel had disappeared shortly before. Aziraphale, however, forced a smile. He already felt weak and helpless enough, and even though he knew he could count on him, he wanted, as far as possible, to be strong.  
"Of course not, darling. I'm calm, in fact."  
Crowley knew his angel well enough to know when he was lying or not, but he didn't go through with it this time. Rather they returned to the subject of marriage and decided to get married by the end of the month, with a ceremony for a few intimates, in the end theirs was already a marriage for all intents and purposes, that would be nothing more than an officialisation.   
At night, Aziraphale left Crowley playing his guitar. He was getting better and better by the day, and he was sure he was going to make it in the music world soon, he had what it takes.  
He decided to at least try to let the bad thoughts slip over him with a hot shower, but the only thing he had taken to flowing away was water. Gabriel's visit had brought to light concerns that already existed about them. The last thing Aziraphale wanted was to live those months with anguish or even regret. Regret about what, then?  
He would give birth to another living thing, a baby who would have a little bit of him and a little bit of Crowley. And that in itself was an extraordinary thing, there was nothing wrong with that. Not for them, but for the rest of the world?  
"Crowley?"  
The demon had slid through the shower door, and he had come in rather sulking, wetting his hair.  
"What? You want me to leave?"  
"Huh? No, not at all, but I thought you were playing."  
"I can't play if I have too many thoughts in my head," he raised his golden eyes to him. "What did I tell you? That it's not good for you to keep it all inside, you think I haven't noticed something's wrong?"  
Aziraphale looked down this time. What do you actually expect to hide from him?  
"It's not important."  
"Of course it's important! Do I need to remind you that I can hear when something's wrong?" Crowley put his palms on the marble tiles, trapping him and leaving no way out.  
"Do you think if the others found out what we're hiding, they'd hurt him?"  
"Would they hurt who? The baby? No reason at all!" he exclaimed, trying to appear convincing. "Just because he's a half-breed, so what? I don't think it's such a big reason. You're going too far with the fantasy, I tell you!"  
"But it's not just that," complained the angel, placing a hand on his chest. "It's just that I don't know how to face what's coming. I don't know and... you know? I've read a lot of books, but none of them say how to take care of a child who's half angel, half demon. What does he need?"  
"Amh... of love and affection?" Crowley tried.  
Of course, it was an obvious answer, and in fact, Aziraphale felt stupid.  
"It won't be easy," he whispered.  
"Great discovery. I figured it out long ago. "Even if something happens, we'll be there to protect him. Besides, Gabriel didn't even notice her. The little creature here knows what she's doing. "But then again, if he takes after me, it's not surprising, is it, Lyra?"  
With that attitude of his, Crowley managed to make him laugh.  
God bless you. Well, _about that. _  
"Emma."  
"Yeah, yeah, look, I'll win in the end," he said, making him turn around. "Now I have to take care of you. And try not to stress you out, so you'll both be all right."  
Even though I'm the one who's the most stressed out after all.  
Aziraphale was about to ask him what he meant by "taking care of". The demon's lips settled on his warm neck, making him tremble while the water still wet them.  
Immediately the angel felt his body react, cursing in part that he had become so sensitive.  
"Y-You won't want me in a few months, you won't find me attractive at all," he said, as he used to tell him, to tease him. And he fell for it all the time. Crowley in fact squeezed him from the neck down to his shoulders.  
"Hush, though I see no future, I know this cannot happen. You are beautiful to me, angel", his voice became a whisper and his hands were already wandering all over each other's bodies. Crowley was a certainty, one of the few of his existence. In those moments the future, or at least his most depressing and anxious part, seemed not to matter anymore, he just seemed to be strongly bright. Aziraphale began to wheeze, feeling stiff, more and more.   
One hand of the demon caressed her erection while the other touched and rubbed her fingertips against her equally swollen nipples.  
"Crowley..."  
"Bend over, angel. In this way", pushed him slightly, forcing him to bend over, at which point Aziraphale was surprised.  
"Oh, would you dare to take me like that?" he recited, amused and fake innocuously.  
"I dare say so, _my dear _. »  
Crowley felt weird about it. While he wanted to go easy on Aziraphale, since he was carrying their child and maybe he wanted to avoid doing harm, on the one hand he felt obscenely excited every time, and it was only going to get worse. Once he made sure his angel was stable, with his hands resting on the wall, he grabbed his ass, biting his lip.  
And him complaining about that softness, which is crazy!  
"Hmm... Crowley... darling..." he began to wheeze, impatient.  
"Oy, but how sensitive we are," gloated the demon, amused. But after all, he was a gentleman, he couldn't keep him waiting forever. But first he just used his fingers, just to make him go even crazier and feel his magic touch make him expand. Aziraphale's so sweet and pure moans were music to his ears.  
"Aaah... darling, don't make me beg you!" he cried.  
"But I love it when you do that..." he fumbled, pushing his erection against her opening. "Come on, just once."  
The angel sighed and closed his eyes. Weak that he was nothing else.  
"Please, Crowley. Take me."  
He was always damn satisfactory, the way he called his name. She decided to please him, and to make him her once and for all. Feeling himself totally filled, Aziraphale let slip a prolonged groan. It was instinctive to take a hand on his erection, because he knew how Crowley liked to see him touch himself for him.  
Even with his eyes closed he could perfectly understand how excited the demon was, he could understand it by his sighs, his moans, and his precise movements. It always hit him in the most sensitive places.  
"Crowley... Crowley...", he started calling him and repeating a series of bumpy, unimportant words. The way he moved around in him was simply perfect, voracious, but always with regard.  
"More!" he exclaimed suddenly, making his eyes wide open.  
He would have died like that. At least, if he was human, he'd have died of a heart attack by now. He pushed faster and harder, feeling the pleasure increase again and again.  
"You excite the hell out of me," he gasped, his reptilian pupils dilated, squeezing his soft hips.  
They belonged to them and they belonged to each other, so fuck everything else because they would have protected what they were and what they had.  
The angel opened his eyes, feeling his burning muscles become stiff. He had not stopped moving his hand over his member for a second and could feel the apex close by.  
"Ah! Yes..." another groan and then he squeezed around Crowley, coming into his own hand, letting the chills and spasms run through him. The demon bent over him and as he felt himself squeezing, he couldn't stand it any longer and let himself go, thus remaining bent for several seconds, just long enough for their breaths to return to normal.  
"Oh... damn...", he fumbled Aziraphale. "You've gone hard this time."  
"It was you who told me you wanted more," Crowley pulled away from him, running his hand through his hair. "Rather, are you all right?"  
Aziraphale thought about it a little bit and suddenly he grimaced.  
"Not really, it hurts me so much here," he said, clutching his belly and panicking Crowley.  
"What? Where, why? Oh, no! I'm sorry, did I hurt you, Lyra? I didn't think I'd gone that far and..." he looked up, seeing how Aziraphale was laughing. "YOU BASTARD!"  
"But darling, it's you who always falls for it."  
"Sure, go ahead, so when you're really sick, I won't believe you!" heard the offended demon, making to get out of the shower.  
He'd soon get over it.   
Aziraphale realized he was very lucky. It was a constant coming and going, a bit like that thing, the roller coaster. But undoubtedly, they would go all the way to the end.________


	8. the burden of pain

The smell of love in the air was something El missed.  
And she was astonished, because after all, the latter had been missing only for a few moments that had seemed so infinite to her.  
Ever since she got there, in that timeline, she'd regained the heat after the frost. And the more time passed, the harder it became to talk. Part of her was forcing her to keep quiet, to hide the truth, but the more rational part told her it was impossible. They had always told her this, she did not jump in time lightly, but she, in fact, had no other choice.  
And it had arrived right there, the moment before everything was born. It would have been a beautiful sunny day, suddenly shaken by a tornado, caused by the fluttering of a butterfly's wings, on the other side of the world.  
 _"What if I can't go back?"  
"You'll just have to come looking for us." _  
He remembered those words, his eyes staring into the void. She realized she was frozen with fear. She hadn't told anyone about her story, not yet. On the one hand she wanted to get rid of the weight, on the other hand she felt, once again, totally blocked.  
 _You're just wasting your time. What is time anyway? _  
"El, what are you doing?"  
Crowley observed her: she was kneeling in front of a box, motionless for a few moments. But the demon's voice was enough to bring her to her senses.  
"Huh? No, nothing... I was just putting Aziraphale's books in here."  
"You know that's not necessary, right? We can move things around without having to work," he reminded her. That little girl's been weird lately, more than usual. El had always had a melancholy light in those gray eyes, and yet she seemed so predominant now. And she tried hard to hide it behind a few pulled smiles.  
"I know, but it doesn't matter, it's just to pass the time. Besides, I love the feel of paper in my hands, don't you find it exciting?"  
The demon looked up to the sky.  
"That angel is affecting you."  
"You have no idea how much," he said then, standing up and stretching. "And you started playing again?"  
Crowley reached out to keep her from falling. That little girl was clumsy, but at least he was used to dealing with guys like her.  
"Not much, you know. I had plans. But no matter how hard I try, I don't get much better. Sometimes I think I might... give up?" he asked, startled by El's stern gaze.  
"You can't give up, you have to get good and famous, and then Aziraphale likes it."  
"...Really?" he asked in amazement.  
"Yes, indeed!" he exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Now I feel like playing, can I borrow your guitar? Please, please, please, please...!"  
Crowley found it really incredible and disturbing that he had become so weak with her. He was getting attached to her, despite everything. He surrendered and made his beloved guitar appear that he wouldn't normally let anyone touch, but that little girl was good at it. El let herself go to an excited scream and then sat down on the sofa, starting to caress the strings. The demon had convinced himself that he heard something cheerful, energetic, but El's fingers made a sweet, almost melancholic sound.  
"But you really do have talent," he said, looking at her with folded arms. "Do you want to be a musician when you grow up?"  
"Actually, I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "I'd love to be an adventure storytelling writer. Or poetry. Or maybe I could write some songs myself, that'd be nice."  
"Then I don't see why not."  
At those words, El stopped playing. That sweet and even vaguely sad melody had betrayed her. That and Crowley's line. Betrayed because at some point it had become difficult to hold back the tears, to pretend nothing had happened. The grey of her eyes had taken on the appearance of a rainy sky.  
"El? What's the matter with you?" Crowley asked her, visibly concerned. She shook her head, keeping her eyes wide open in a futile attempt to stop the tears from rolling down.  
"It's just all so sad. I would have done so much better to have never been born," he whispered, vacuous. The demon came closer, touching her face.  
"El...?"  
Aziraphale had left the baby alone with Crowley, sure they could be together without too much trouble by now. That's why he was surprised and upset when he saw El crying.  
"Crowley, what have you done to her?" he exclaimed, entering the living room in great stride.  
"I didn't do anything, why do you have to accuse me?!" he asked and obviously ignored. The angel bent down, gently taking her face in his hands and speaking softly to her.  
"El, what's wrong?"  
 _What's wrong? What's wrong is that I love all this, that it was taken away from me, and if it wasn't for me, everything would have been fine.  
You gave me life, but I don't deserve it. _  
All this was pressing on his lips and he couldn't get out. El tried so hard not to cry in a liberating way, that she almost had a gagging gag. It had been tremendously difficult from the beginning, omitting much of her story and above all pretending not to know them, that was the hardest part.  
He said don't cry. Or she wouldn't be able to control herself.  
"Wrong... it's all wrong," he could barely whisper.  
Aziraphale looked at Crowley trying to figure it out, but the demon knew as much as he did.  
"What? There's nothing wrong with it."  
"In me!" he shouted, getting up. "I'm the wrong one, the one who shouldn't be here."  
The angel instinctively backed away. Both he and Crowley must have felt the same way: they were finally starting to feel something in her. And even though they didn't know exactly what it was yet, they knew instantly that the force she emanated was unique and overwhelming.  
"El, calm down," Crowley said, in a firm tone, not really trusting him at all, because the girl didn't seem to be herself.   
She rolled her eyes, cursed herself. That's why she tried so hard to hold on, but she couldn't.  
"Please don't come near me! I bring nothing but trouble and nothing more."  
Crowley, fed up with that unwarranted whining he said, grabbed her by the arm.   
"Of course you're trouble, but it's a little late to bring it up, don't you think?" he asked sarcastically. El looked at him, batting her eyelids repeatedly, and she let tears roll down her cheeks. Had she held back for so long, could she at least regain some stolen warmth and sweetness?  
Instantly she calmed down and hugged Crowley, in a desperate grip, almost as if she was afraid of being taken away from there. The demon found himself a moment disoriented in front of such a demonstration of affection, to which he was not accustomed, or at least not with everyone. He looked at Aziraphale, who was just as upset and gave him a look that was meant to be an invitation to reciprocate the hold.  
And so he did. And Crowley was actually quite convinced that he was going to do it, because it was natural and above all, he had to get over it, he loved El. He held her gently as she cried against his chest.  
"It's all right... we're here," he whispered to her, with such a natural sweetness. El didn't stop crying, but she could breathe for a few moments. Breathe for real. She couldn't hold on much longer, she couldn't stifle her emotions, let alone her powers, she wasn't good enough at this yet.  
He closed his eyes, longing to fall asleep and wake up and find everything as it should have been.______

_______Why is nobody like me?  
Because you're special, El. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________It was never in Gabriel's interest to meddle in matters that did not concern him. Much less meddling in the affairs of those two traitors, but the meeting with El had shaken him up. He understood at once that she could not be human, but she was also different from everything he knew. Something was eluding him and something else was pressing him. He would never have dreamed of asking the prince of hell if it hadn't been necessary, but of all the demons he had had the misfortune to know, she was the most reasonable one. After all, it was something that concerned both sides, or at least that's what he felt.  
Beelzebub would never dream of answering an angel's call, much less that one. She had already had enough to deal with during the failed Apocalypse. On the other hand, if he had contacted her, there must have been an important reason.  
Gabriel saw her literally come out of the ground. Night was falling and in theory they weren't even supposed to see each other, but fortunately the human world was still a neutral place, roughly speaking.  
"Archangel, why did you call me?" the demon proffered, seeing the figure of the other barely illuminated by the moonbeams. "If they knew I was here, I'd be in trouble. I hope it's important."  
Only then had the other entity come closer, squaring the demon from top to bottom. She didn't scare him, he found her petite, small, maybe even tender, but he would have avoided saying it so as not to get killed.  
"But how? And I'm risking so much just to see you."  
Beelzebub didn't have any reaction, he just glanced at him. However, she perceived something in his tone of voice that made her understand the gravity of the situation.   
"What are you hiding?" he asked impatiently.  
Gabriel then became serious and barely toasted.  
"It's about those two... the traitors..."  
"Well? It's none of our business what they do anymore and..."  
"I actually think it concerns us more than we think," Gabriel finally managed to say what he really thought. Beelzebub did to insult him, but he soon realized that the Archangel was not joking. He seemed seriously worried about something.  
"All right, but why me? Why don't you talk to your fellow angels?"  
"Because it affects both sides and because angels are not very reasonable beings," he simply said. "Anyway, since you're here, I guess you'll want to listen to me by now, or else you've had a wasted journey."  
The demon will tighten his lips. If she knew how to be seraphic and calm, she couldn't be patient with Gabriel, but in the end she decided to give him a chance, in the hope that there wouldn't be another Apocalypse coming.  
The moon was covered with clouds above their heads. The demon had listened to it without uttering a word, but only letting himself go into some rather exhaustive expressions. Gabriel gave her the idea that he was ranting about nothing.  
"You only bothered me because those two decided to take a little girl with them? Are you kidding me?"  
"If you had listened more carefully, you would have understood, demon," replied Gabriel beaten.  
"I listened to you, but I don't understand. Did you have a strange feeling when you saw her, well? How can this be about me, our factions or whatever?"  
Gabriel admitted to himself that he felt rather ridiculous. He was making so much noise for nothing, based on what, then?  
"She's not human. But she's not even like me or you, she's different. And she's strong, that's all I could feel, but nothing else."  
Beelzebub raised an eyebrow, sensing perhaps the central point of the speech.  
"Are you telling me he might be a threat to us? How?"  
"I don't know, but Crowley and Aziraphale are involved. I know they are. And you mustn't breathe a word of this to anyone."  
"I don't take orders from the other side," he said harshly. "But it was never my intention anyway, even demons can't be very reasonable. Then what should we do?"  
Gabriel raised his purple eyes to the sky, noticing that the clouds were spreading like smoke.  
"I don't want to cause a ruckus for nothing, it's better if we keep an eye on her first and try to figure it out. I feel she's not to be underestimated."  
"Yes, I hear, I hear, all right. Should we be her _guardian angels _?" he mumbled.  
"Not quite what I meant..."___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Things seemed to have calmed down, at least for the moment. Aziraphale had called Anathema to ask her to keep El company, as the two seemed to have established a bond of friendship. And above all because the girl had seemed tremendously shaken up, almost to the point of not knowing how to behave. In fact, she had no idea what to do about it. And so did Crowley. The demon sat on the sofa, staring at the box of books left there on the floor.  
El's desperate embrace had given him a warmth that had not yet disappeared, just as the deep sense of protection for him had not disappeared.   
He had managed to silence her crying, but not her sadness, which is why he and Aziraphale had thought of leaving her a little quiet before speaking to her again. Although neither of them spoke the word, it was clear that they quivered to say the same thing.  
"El gave me a heart attack," the angel said at one point, not knowing how to start that speech. "You heard what I heard, didn't you?"  
Crowley did not answer immediately, looking more at the closed door of Aziraphale's bedroom, where El and Anathema were standing. It was as if that little girl had suddenly exploded. If up to that moment they had not been able to perceive any power coming from her, now things had changed. El was as strong as they were, if not more so, the energy she emanated was suffocating, if not dark.   
And judging by the way it blew up, she must not have been able to handle it.  
"It's obvious to me. Were you scared?"  
"A little bit, I just wasn't expecting it. I sensed darkness in her, didn't you?"  
Crowley looked at him with his slender serpentine eyes.  
"It wasn't darkness, it was fear, discomfort, sadness. What, are you afraid of her now?"  
"What? No! No, I'm not afraid," he immediately explained. "I just don't understand. Doesn't the power we perceived seem similar to ours?"  
The demon shrugged, looking away.  
"Either she's an angel or she's a demon, it can't be both. This whole thing's starting to creep me out. Is it possible there's no one who can tell us what she is?"  
Aziraphale signaled him to keep his voice down.  
"Easy, he'll hear you. You're worried about her, aren't you?"  
A faint sigh came out of Crowley's lips, who had lowered his face, only to lift it up and chain his eyes to those of his angel.  
"Crazy, isn't it? I didn't even want her around at first, why did I get tied down like this? I don't know anything about her, yet I feel like I know everything. Will you tell me what kind of sense it makes and why I feel so ridiculously sad, huh?"  
A motion of tenderness overwhelmed Aziraphale. He felt exactly what he felt, and the fact that he knew it made him feel less alone.  
She laid her hands on his cheeks, resting her forehead on his.  
"Whatever it is, I feel it too. That's a bond I can't understand."  
He almost blew this last sentence and then closed his eyes. Crowley did the same, letting himself grimace right away.  
"I feel weird," he whispered as he felt the same feeling during their first kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Emma Lyra, come back down now!"  
It was very rare for Crowley to address his daughter under both her names, except when he was particularly angry or worried. But the little girl had risen up in the air on his differently coloured wings, doing a somersault.  
"I don't want to!" she exclaimed amused and then ended up banging her head on the ceiling. "Ouch!"  
"There you go. Serves you right. If we were out in the open I'd have to tie you up with a string, like a balloon. Come back down immediately, now," he insisted angrily. If children at that age were learning to read and write, to know the world, El was already discovering herself. She had learned to fly a few months later, to the great joy of her parents. Now she was learning to change her appearance, to materialize objects of various sizes and shapes as she liked, just as problematic.  
"Ouch! You're bad and I'm not coming down!" he whimpered, massaging his sore spot.  
"Don't make me grab you."   
Actually Crowley would have gladly done without it, El was five, but she was terribly strong for her age, which is why she preferred not to go against her. But, you know, a little respect!  
Aziraphale came to save her husband. With her more gentle and patient ways, El was more willing to listen to him than Crowley.  
"Honey, get down from there, come on," he said gently. The little girl then smiled and slowly lowered herself on her beautiful black and white wings.  
"Tsk... that's not right," mumbled the demon with folded arms, perhaps even slightly jealous.  
"Did you know that my hair turned blue today? It was all standing on my head!" said El enthusiastic.  
"Blue"? And I guess your father cheered you on," the angel looked at her husband with reproach, knowing how much fun the latter was to see the girl change her appearance.  
"I didn't do anything, why does it always have to be my fault?" he complained, in fact.  
El laughed, getting put down.  
"Look, look! I've learned to do something else too!"  
Saying this, he put his hands together, moving them away shortly afterwards and creating a beam of light with silvery reflections. Aziraphale grazed his eyes, surprised not to feel any heat. Usually the light always represented something benevolent, but in that case, with El's hands so close, he only felt a great sense of oppression and restlessness.  
"El... enough..." the angel whispered to him, in obvious difficulty.   
"But why? Look, the light is beautiful and shines!" insisted the child, not understanding the reason for such a reaction.  
"El, stop!" Crowley raised his voice, feeling the same as Aziraphale. As if that silver light had enveloped his soul, clutching it, suffocating it to annihilate it.   
The little girl actually stopped, with a flushed face and tears in her eyes, struck with pride.  
"But why?! Bad!" he whimpered.  
"I'm not bad. When I say stop, you have to stop, you could hurt someone."  
Maybe Crowley was using the wrong tone. It wasn't El's fault. She was just curious and her powers were coming out slowly. Maybe it was the fear of not knowing and not being able to handle it that made him so tough.  
His daughter curled her lips, looking at him for a few moments.  
"It's not true. I'm good, I don't hurt anyone!"  
He started crying again, this time in a less restrained way. Aziraphale immediately stretched out her arms to hold her.  
"El, no. It's okay, so--"  
He did to say something, but in fact he found himself immobilized. El always emanated a disruptive energy, but at that precise moment his strength had burst, immobilizing both him and Crowley.  
"What the hell?!" exclaimed the latter. "What's going on? I can't move."  
She would have liked to carry her hand close to her throat, because once again she felt suffocated, not from inside, but from above, the air had become incredibly heavy, and all this had happened at the moment when El had let herself go crying.  
Aziraphale tried to fight it, though to no avail. On the other hand, he didn't mean to hurt his little girl in any way, so he didn't want to overdo it.  
"El... El... calm down, please," he whispered. "It's all right, it's all right, but please... please stop crying now... please."  
It was her suffering tone that convinced her. She struggled to calm herself, little by little, until the hysterical crying gave way to moans and spasms.  
Crowley almost collapsed and was forced to cling to the table to avoid falling.  
"By Satan, I've had it bad..." he commented, short of breath. Then he looked at Aziraphale. They had always known that El would be different, that she would show special abilities and powers, but to see it, to feel it was something else. Aziraphale sighed, slightly calmer, but a little shaken. El was still too small to handle her powers, she would have to learn for her own good and so that no one would disturb her.  
Or consider it a threat.  
"Did I hurt you...?" the little girl murmured after a few seconds of silence, with a small, frightened voice. The angel immediately held her in his arms in a protective manner.  
As long as there was a chance, they would have preserved his innocence.  
"No, my darling. It's all right now," he sighed, kissing her on the head. "It's true, you're good and you're not hurting anyone."  
It wasn't the first time El demonstrated her power, but it was the first time she showed something so destructive.  
"I don't control it," he muttered again, clutched at him. Crowley came to his senses, came to his senses, caressing the child's back.  
"You're still too young to control yourself. You'll learn as you grow," he reassured her. He really believed it, even though he and Aziraphale had no idea. El wasn't an angel, she wasn't a demon, she was a middle ground, and no one, not even they, could actually know the consequences. But they knew one thing well, if someone had considered El a danger, they could have eliminated her. Or even worse, because sometimes death was not the most terrible end._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________El was so out of sorts that her usual good mood seemed to have faded. She had plunged into sadness, melancholy more than anything else, but Anathema could not say why. She and the child had made friends, but El still seemed not to want to get too unbalanced.  
"Whatever happened, you can tell me about it, I solemnly swear I won't mention it to those two," promised the witch, sitting at the foot of the bed. El was lying down, her head resting on the pillow and watching her tirelessly.  
"I just thought it would be better for everyone if I was never born," he revealed after a few moments of silence, whereupon the witch rolled her eyes.  
"That's the stupidest thing you could have said to me. And why would it have been better if I'd never been born, let's hear it?"  
"Because I'm dangerous!" he exclaimed, sitting down. "I am by nature, everyone is afraid of me. And then I only cause trouble."  
After seeing her happy and sad, now she had to see her angry, too. Anathema didn't understand, but he didn't move an inch.  
"That's not enough of an answer. Whatever it is, I'll take you seriously. I've already had theories, but I'm waiting for you to confirm them. So... you're here for them, aren't you? It's no accident that Aziraphale and Crowley got so close to you. Nor can it be that your aura is the perfect union of theirs."  
El let herself go with a sigh, almost with resignation. That was becoming too much of a burden for her. So, without saying a word, she knelt down on a mattress. She closed her eyes and only then did Anathema realize that her appearance was changing.  
The hair of such an odd and worn-out blond regained color, becoming light blond, almost white, with numerous colored locks of red that gave his hair a streaked effect.   
And then from behind his back, wings appeared. One white and one black, both seemingly soft but strong.  
Once again, the witch had found herself unable to move, her lips open from shock. Now something she sensed and now understood that her theories were not so absurd.  
"El. Oh, El. You are..."  
Hearing herself called for a second time, the little girl opened her eyes, wonderfully unique, bichromatic. And in those eyes Anathema saw again the demon and the angel she knew so well.  
"I'm still ninth, actually. But I guess at this point all your assumptions have proven to be correct."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	9. The threat

They had been quiet months and slowly the turmoil and doubts had given way to sweet resignation. One could not know what the future had in store, which is why it was useless to make such a fuss. All the more important was to live the present, so joyful.  
On that quiet day, Crowley found himself rather impatient. He'd never liked to have a house full of people, after all, he wasn't the sociable one. Aziraphale, on the contrary, loved to surround himself with friends who loved him. And who also took the news of his extraordinary pregnancy rather well. In particular, Anathema and Madam Tracy seemed the most taken with it. Adam and Them had also heard, and after a more than justified shock, they seemed to have accepted it willingly. After angels, demons, witches and Apocalypse, it seemed almost normal.  
"But why pink? Who determined that females need pink? This is sexist", Pepper's protest wasn't long in coming before all those gifts from Anathema and Madam Tracy, who were perhaps a bit exaggerated by the enthusiasm: the low table in front of the sofa was full of baby stuff, from pacifiers to clothes to bibs, it was all too much.  
Aziraphale just didn't seem to agree. On the contrary, to say that he was constantly trapped in a cloud that made him see everything in pink was to say the least.  
"I find all this adorable," he whispered, taking a pink and white chenille jumpsuit in his hands. "I've always loved baby clothes."  
Crowley found himself grimacing, careful not to be seen. He hated pink in all its nuances. He might have accepted purple, at best. He'd have preferred black, but Aziraphale had told him it wasn't appropriate for a little girl. But it was all right. It was enough to see him so happy and with those shining eyes to be all right. Although he felt very uncomfortable, he wasn't yet ready to show his tender side in front of everyone.  
"How do you feel? Do you need anything?" asked an apprehensive Madam Tracy.  
"I'm fine, really. I'm still an angel, it takes a lot more than that to knock me out." reassured Aziraphale.  
She was still an angel, yes, but a different angel. To his great relief he hadn't gained as much weight as he feared, although Crowley always told him that it wouldn't matter anyway. Of course his belly had grown a little larger, a sign that that life continued to grow inside him. Emma. Or Lyra. They still didn't know which one was going to be his name, but much better not to take it.  
Adam was quietly listening to the conversation between Anathema and Madame Tracy when at one point, sitting on the floor as he was, he looked up.  
"But... where will it come from?"  
Immediately afterwards a thud had been heard: Newton had bumped into a wall and let himself go moaning, but no one had paid much attention to it. Crowley had let go of another exhaustive grimace, but Pepper took care of it and gave voice to what was going through his head.  
"What kind of question is that?"  
"But it's a legitimate question, I think! How does it work for angels?"  
A general silence fell. In fact, no one knew anything about it, and even Aziraphale himself, who had thought about it very often, and then immediately after the question, did not know what to say.  
"Well, you snap your fingers and the baby's born, easy, isn't it?" Crowley made up, hoping he was right, because if he wasn't, he couldn't take much more of this. But Anathema shattered his dreams.  
"You know, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. That would be too easy."  
"Of course, it's not like I ever have to go through anything simple. I warn you, witch, I'm weak in the stomach, I can't stand anything strange."  
Anathema carried her hands on her hips, upset. She and Crowley often found themselves bickering, perhaps because the demon was sometimes totally lacking in tact.  
"It's a natural thing, not weird. And you've got to stop calling me a witch and calling me a contemptuous witch. And you, Newton, you might as well take my side for once."  
Her husband, however, was still with his hands on the sore nose that he had slammed shortly before, at Adam's question.  
"Why do you only remember me at these times?"  
Aziraphale looked up to the sky, patient. Surely she would have had some fun, once she was born into the world, if she imagined her already contended between Anathema and Crowley.  
Suddenly she felt something strange. Or at least, it was strange to him, because it was actually the first time he felt the child kick.  
"Freeze, she moved!" he exclaimed suddenly. And at that order of his everyone actually stopped. Madam Tracy pulled up her nose.  
"How wonderful, it's always nice to see a life growing up."  
"Did it move? And does he hurt?" asked a stupid Brian.  
"No, he doesn't hurt, it's normal!" Pepper pointed out to him.  
"Yes, but she's not a child like the others. Can I hear?" Adam asked.  
"Can I, too? Sounds interesting," Wensleydale added.  
Crowley frowned, feeling annoyed and even very jealous. He didn't like the company of his own, much less that they were all over his Aziraphale.  
"Hey, hey! Air, circulate!" he signalled them away, in a tone of reproach. This made the angel smile. Her husband wasn't very good at hiding his annoyance.  
"Would you like to hear her, dear?" he asked him sweet. Crowley blushed at first, but then he nodded slowly. He placed his hand on his belly a little rounder, and after a few seconds of nothing more complete, you feel a kick sound under the palm of your hand.  
"She's... She's moved," he exclaimed in amazement, with clear eyes. "She's done it again. She likes me!"  
It was at that moment that Anathema stopped mentally reserving various insults for Crowley. He found him terribly tender with his manner, despite his temperament he would have made a good father.  
And Aziraphale was sure of that, too. They were both going to be all right, with their differences and characters so different, they were going to raise that little girl.  
"What have you got here?" Crowley asked at one point, slipping his hand down. Aziraphale touched the spot he pointed to and then brushing under his shirt could feel something strange.  
"I don't know. Looks like a scar."  
"A scar? And when would you get it?!" the demon asked with apprehension. In all this, Adam had taken on a thoughtful expression.  
"I get it! Maybe that's where the girl will come out."  
Oh, you still with that story? But thinking about it, it wasn't such a crazy idea. Aziraphale made a face, and then he looked at Anathema.  
"Do you think it's possible?"  
The witch shrugged. She knew as much as they did.  
"It might actually make sense. But I guess we'll find out when the time comes."  
Crowley frowned, puffing. If he thought about it, he'd panic. And he couldn't panic, not least because it would hurt his already wounded pride too much.  
"I'd rather not think about it," he finally said.

When all their guests had left about two hours later, Crowley could breathe a sigh of relief. As much as he could, he wanted to enjoy the moments alone with Aziraphale, as there would be three of them in a while. And above all, they would have to deal with a newborn who would have nothing to do with human children.  
"Yes!" rejoiced the demon at one point, with the angel resting on his shoulder. "I did it. I'm a fast learner, aren't I?"  
Aziraphale nodded, with his eyes closed. Her left hand, on whose ring finger there was a white gold wedding ring, was clutching her arm.  
"Yes, you learn fast, what a sweet sound," he whispered at one point. Crowley suddenly stopped playing. He didn't even do it on purpose. He wanted to be a rock star, not a songwriter.  
"That wasn't exactly what I was aiming for."  
"You should go on, she likes it."  
That was playing dirty. Crowley looked up to the heavens, realizing he'd already shamefully gone soft.  
"All right, all right. You think she'll be proud of me? I mean, I guess I'm not the best parent you could want, but I'll do my best."  
That's when Aziraphale opened his eyes, pulling him by the arm.  
"But darling, you're the best person. She's so lucky to have you," he whispered, sweet and patient, because as strong as Crowley was, he needed reassurance from time to time.  
"And to have you," he replied, one step away from her lips. After a whole day of being forced to stay away, the time had come to make up for it.  
Or maybe not.  
Someone knocked violently on the door of their silent home. Aziraphale was still with his lips glued to Crowley's, and one of them found herself tapping him on the shoulder.  
"Darling, go, it might be important."  
Not with little annoyance, the demon departed, hoping that it was really something so important that it interrupted them. He would have expected anything less than to find himself before Gabriel after months, but this time in the company of Beelzebub.  
"We meet again, demon," said the archangel atonus. Crowley clenched his fist.  
"What are you guys doing here?"  
"Be thankful we didn't show up right inside your house."  
"Yes, because it was my idea", Beelzebub spoke at that point, coming forward. "Demon Crowley, we must talk."  
"Why? We have nothing to say to each other!" he exclaimed defensively. He found himself cursing mentally, even cursing himself. He'd hoped he'd have no problem with it, but maybe he was a bit stupid to convince himself of it.  
"Crowley, what's going on?" asked Aziraphale, still inside. There followed a long look of defiance and anger between Gabriel and Crowley.  
"I will ask you one last time. What have you come for?"  
Beelzebub firmly grasped the demon's arm.  
"If anyone's asking the questions here, it's us. Do you want useless bloodshed or will you be reasonable?"  
Crowley felt he hated her at that moment, but Beelzebub was right: he had to remain calm and not be impulsive, since he didn't know their intentions, but he could still have imagined them.  
"All right," he hissed.  
Aziraphale had been in shock for a few moments when he saw those two. He had immediately stood up and Crowley had come close to him, clutching him in a protective vise.  
"Come on, there's no need to be so defensive," Gabriel said in an unbearable, know-it-all tone. "Oh, Aziraphale. Now I see why you looked so different last time I saw you."  
The angel stiffened again, realizing that they knew.  
Of course they knew, how could he hope to hide it?  
"How... how... how...?"  
"You should be a little straightforward and less around it," Beelzebub scolded Gabriel and then turned to the other two.  
"After he was here last time, he warned me what he'd heard. So we kept an eye on you, and in the end our assumptions turned out to be correct."  
The archangel pointed to Aziraphale.  
"You two have conceived that thing that exudes such power."  
Hearing him speak with so little respect about the life they had created together, Crowley took a step forward.  
"Watch your mouth, or I swear I'll rip your wings off!" he exclaimed, furious, and thus revealed his true snake-like nature. But Aziraphale hadn't let go of him for a moment. He knew that if she didn't hold him back, he'd end up doing something foolish.  
"Crowley... just stay calm, okay? No rash moves," he whispered softly, then addressed his superior in a harsher tone. "We had no idea something like this was possible, but it happened. And whatever it is, what we do now is no longer your business."  
"Well, technically it is, since we don't know what's growing inside you. Half angel and half demon, a mixture that could generate who knows what dangerous being", Gabriel spoke again.  
"She's not dangerous! And then... would a heavenly being go so far as to kill a child?" Crowley asked him, even though he knew he could, he would be perfectly capable of it.  
"He'll be great sooner or later, and his power too. Face it, there are demons and angels, but there is no middle ground. Deep down, you know how unpredictable this thing is." Gabriel had come so close, but Crowley hadn't backed down. They had to pass over his body before they hurt his daughter.  
Beelzebub puffed.  
"In short, since we have no certainty, we can't endanger Hell, Paradise and all that just because you haven't paid enough attention."  
"We had no idea! What are you going to do to me?"  
It was a stupid question. Their intentions were obvious, and it had literally terrified Aziraphale. He saw Beelzebub look at him with vacant, dull eyes and reach out his hand to him.  
"It'll be painless," he just said. That's when Crowley realized he had to say to hell with his attempts to stay in his place, because his family was at risk.  
"No, stop!" he shouted. He would not allow anyone, not even God, to snatch away the life he and Aziraphale had created.  
It all happened so fast that the angel almost didn't realize it. He didn't feel a thing and Beelzebub seemed to be immobilized.  
"But what...?" she asked, encountering some resistance, as if there had been some sort of invisible wall between her and Aziraphale.  
Gabriel looked thin, suspicious.  
"Move, demon, leave it to me," he ordered, before he realized that angel was now untouchable.  
"What have you done?"  
"I-I didn't do anything, really," Aziraphale defended himself. Fear had totally paralyzed him, that shield of protection wasn't his doing.  
Crowley, meanwhile, had lunged at Gabriel, grabbing him badly to drive him away.  
"Stay away, stay away, both of you damn you! I'll kill you if I have to!"  
Aziraphale understood from the way he spoke that he must be losing his mind.  
"Crowley, hold back, don't do anything rash, do it for me, do it for us," he tried to reason with him. The demon trembled and watched Gabriel with anger, while Beelzebub had just become aware of something.  
"I can't get near him. It's like there's some kind of wall. "Crazy..." he whispered.  
Crazy, but not too much. No one knew what could come out of a being who was half angel and half demon. And even though that creature hadn't been born yet, it was showing a truly admirable defensive force, strong enough to stop even her and Gabriel from doing anything.  
"Did you hear that, Archangel?" did Crowley, holding him in anger. "Turns out it's not as easy as you thought."  
"Don't touch me, demon, think clearly. If she can stop us, imagine what she might do if we let her live."  
"This. Don't. Vi. Mind! If you come near me again, I swear I'll kill you. I would burn myself with holy water to protect them if it would help!"  
Aziraphale got the shiny eyes. He'd never forgive himself for that. Crowley didn't have to die. Nobody had to die.  
Beelzebub puffed irritated, looking at his subordinate.  
"He's strong. She's protecting him. This is incredible..."  
"It's scary," Gabriel ran it. "You're a fool, demon. Don't you understand that if it's not us, someone else will do it anyway?"  
Crowley blinked. Right... the others.  
"Who knows...? Does anyone else know? Did you talk? Come on, tell me!" he raised his voice.  
Tired, Gabriel broke away.  
"No one knows, except us, news like this would cause a lot of havoc. Even if I don't talk, they'll find out anyway."  
"It won't happen. I swear, if either of you talk... I don't care what the consequences, but I swear I will kill you. You have to leave us alone," he hissed again. In fact, both Gabriel and Beelzebub seemed quite confused about the matter, perhaps neither of them expected to be restrained in this way.  
"We won't forget about your death threat, but in any case, it doesn't affect us that much," Beelzebub told him. "You have spawned something very powerful, this and only this has been your good fortune. I guess there's nothing we can do... for now..."  
"What is that supposed to mean? Hey... you!" again he tried to hold on to Gabriel, but he pushed him away violently.  
"You've touched me enough already, you filthy demon. You've dared to threaten our lives, but you're not the one we're interested in right now," then looked at Aziraphale. "Don't think you can rest easy."  
Aziraphale barely trembled, but more than on his fear he focused on what was the expression of the two entities.  
They were the ones who were afraid.  
Fear of something they didn't know and probably didn't know how to deal with.  
Was it really that bad?  
"You bastard!" Crowey insulted him and ran towards him, almost falling down as both Gabriel and Beelzebub had disappeared. "Where did they go? I swear I'll kill them!"  
Aziraphale approached him, holding him and resting his face on his back.  
"Crowley... Crowley, it's okay."  
He felt it relax just below his touch and then heard it sigh.  
"It's not all right, it's not all right at all. Did you see what they tried to do? They wanted... they wanted..."  
"But it didn't happen. She... she protected herself, she protected both of us. Crowley's strong, that's why they fear her. That's why they'd like to eliminate her," she said to herself. He had imagined, actually both of them had done it, such an eventuality, but living it was very different. Maybe for the others that child was a mistake, an anomaly, a danger, but not for them.  
"You heard what they said, right? The others will hear about it, too. No one must touch you, they'll have to go through me", Crowley spoke excitedly and rehearsed, all his fears were coming out at that very moment. Aziraphale realised it was his job to reassure him this time.  
"We shouldn't go that far. "We should just be careful... especially after she's born. I have a feeling they'll... come back..."  
Crowley turned around, looking back at him, shrugging his shoulders.  
"I'm scared shitless, angel, I can't hide it. I'm afraid I won't be able to protect her or you."  
He whispered these last words, his voice was gone. Aziraphale laid his forehead on hers, frightened yes, but also strangely hopeful.  
"They tried to kill us once, too, but they finally left us alone. They could do the same with her."  
"I wish I could think like you," he murmured, holding him and cradling him gently. He didn't want to bring a child into the world just to watch him die, it would be too much pain to bear. "If only I had one certainty, at least one..."  
The future was infamous because it was uncertain. Uncertain for humans and uncertain for them too. Now they both knew, with absolute certainty, that it would not be easy, that fear would become their best companion, but that in the end they would emerge victorious. They had to, because they didn't even consider another option.  
"I love you. Do you think that's enough certainty?" asked Aziraphale. Crowley barely smiled. He'd collapsed for a brief moment, but he knew he had to recover, now more than ever. Even if they came to threaten them, hell or heaven on earth, they'd defend what they had together.  
"Yes... I love you too", she hugged him gently, resting her face on his shoulder. "Even if it's a horrible situation... if I go back, I'll do it all over again."  
A madman, he found himself thinking. They were both mad, the only ones in the whole universe who had defied normal conventions and had come to this.  
"Ow... did you hear that? He kicked again," whispered Aziraphale at one point.  
"I heard. I think he wanted to remind us both that we have something good to fight for. We do."  
The threat hadn't separated them even for an instant, it had only united them more. It would have been easier if they had known their future. But it was so mysterious and elusive, ineffableand sometimes cruel.


	10. Remembering the future

_[What if the future is able to influence the past?] _  
\- Dark__

__

__Anathema had stayed for endless minutes watching El. He couldn't believe it, he had been right from the start. She existed, she was there, but she wasn't really a part of that place, indeed, of that timeline.  
The little girl was left to be watched, feeling her eyes burning from crying. Now she felt a little lighter, now that she didn't have to carry the burden of that secret alone.   
"El, you're... gosh, you're really beautiful," was the first thing Anathema could say, and it wasn't a lie at all. She had beautiful wings and penetrating, unique eyes, she looked like both Crowley and Aziraphale.  
"Do you really think so?" she asked, rubbing her face. The witch, who at first was surprised and recoiled, came closer.  
"So it's true... you're from the future?"  
El nodded slowly. There seemed to be no trace left of the cheerful, lively little girl she had met.  
"I had to come here... because my future is horrible."  
"Why is it horrible? What's going on?"  
She froze with her lips tight. Anathema could see in her eyes the fear, terror, sadness and trauma. Whatever had happened must have been horrible enough to stop her breathing.  
"I... I still don't feel like telling you... just know that it has to do with my family and that I have to save them."  
The witch fixed her glasses, patient. She had to take it one step at a time if she wanted to get out of it.  
"All right, all right, El. First of all, I'd like to know... how did you get here in the first place? Can you answer that?"  
The little girl nodded, stroking her feathers to calm herself.  
"It is my ability to jump through time. When I was younger, I couldn't control it, it just happened. Now I've gotten a little better, but not too good, actually," he looked up. "It wasn't exactly at this point in time when I wanted to get there, the thing is, it's hard to know where to go. The moment I jump - back or forward - it's like... it's like I'm in a long corridor with lots of doors. And each door corresponds to a point in time, you know? You have to be very good at getting the right point and I just... I just happened to be here, where I wasn't born yet and my parents just got together."  
Anathema tried to mentally record all that information: El jumped in time and accidentally happened there.  
"Oh... how did you come up with something like that?"  
"Well, you're the one who pushed me to do it. I mean, the you of the future."  
"The me of the future?!" she cried out in shock. How unconscious had she become twelve years later? "Oh! All right, look, I think you should tell Aziraphale and Crowley, if this is really about them."  
El joined hands, pleading and desperate.  
"Please don't mention it! You don't know how much I want to tell them the truth, but I'm afraid of not being believed, I'm afraid of losing this happiness I'm feeling again. I've even thought about it, you know? Staying here, I mean. But I can't, it's not my time, not yet, it would be too selfish and I don't know what the consequences might be. You don't know what it felt like to see them again when I arrived and how hard it was to pretend I didn't know them."  
El was barely holding back tears. What was troubling her so much must have had something to do with death, Anathema was more than sure.  
"Please don't cry. I won't say anything obviously, but you can't keep omitting that you're from the future. I wonder why those two still don't understand..."  
"They actually know, but they don't know that they know. I'm more than certain that since I've been here they've started to sense something. My presence reminds them of the future, albeit in flashes and in a confused way."  
"Wait, they see the future?"  
"No, they remember the future, it's different. The memories are mine and I can pass them on to them. But they still don't get it. This is harder than I thought."  
El sat back down, pulling up her nose, not even noticing how Anathema was looking at her. That little girl was strong, not only physically, but also in heart and mind. She was carrying a stabbing weight and pain and always with a smile on her face. Now that she knew much of her story, she was determined to help her. After all, she loved her, she loved her from the start, and now she understood why.  
"Don't worry, we'll come out of this somehow. We can't waste this opportunity. Amh, tell me... what am I like in the future?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood for a moment.   
And El actually smiled.  
"You're not very different from now. You're married to Newton and you have two children, twins."  
The witch rolled her eyes.  
"Twins, me? What the...?"  
"I'm better now, thanks!" without even letting her stop talking, El stood up, changing her appearance and hiding what she really was again._ _

__There was no sound coming from the bedroom. I wonder if Anathema had really managed to calm El finally. Or to understand maybe what was going on, because it was quite clear that the little girl was not willing to open up to them.  
"We've emptied almost everything? My books, however, I take them by hand, I wouldn't want them to be ruined, I'll put them in your car", the angel had just decided, with great dissent from her fiancé.  
"Sure, never let your boring tomes get damaged," Crowley looked up at the almost empty apartment. "Although we'll stay at my place for now, I wanted to tell you I might find a bigger place, it's a bit out of town, but I think you might like it and... why are you looking at me like that?"  
The demon had stopped talking because the angel was watching him surprised and amused.  
"You've already taken care of everything."  
"I just want to surprise you, angel. By the way, is El really coming with us?"  
"Uh, you want to leave her alone?"  
"I never said that," he looked around, lowered his voice. "Do you think I'd leave her alone after I got so close to her?"  
Aziraphale would have wanted so much to tell him how tender he was, but there was no need, for El had suddenly appeared behind him, though it was not explained how, and had clung on to his arm.  
"I knew you loved me! I love you too," said sweet. Crowley blushed, feeling himself in fragrance.  
"Where did you come from? Pretend I didn't say anything!" he said harshly.  
"I'm sorry, but I just can't do that!"  
She was certainly better off than before, Aziraphale looked at Anathema and silently thanked her. The witch looked back, but felt very guilty for what she was hiding from them, but had no other choice.  
"Would you like to go out with me?" El suddenly asked. "We've been locked in the house all day, and the leaves are falling, I don't care if it's cold."  
The angel tried to curb his enthusiasm.  
"All right dear, but cover yourself," he recommended, making a soft scarf appear around her neck. The little girl rejoiced, feeling a little happier, although her eyes were still burning. _ _

__The temperature had dropped quite a bit, enough to sting her face, but that wasn't bothering El at all. On the contrary, the fresh air was only doing her good after the hysterical crying she had let herself go. There was a hedge separating her from Aziraphale, Crowley and Anathema, and perhaps that was good. The little girl had taken to walking by the water and throwing food at the squawking ducks. One part of her soul was lighter, the other just heavier. They had to believe her, after all, they had always felt a special bond. _Of course they did. _  
The sensations and connections went beyond time and space.  
In the noise made by the dried leaves under his shoes, El heard something suspicious, as if someone had spoken. He looked around, but he didn't see anyone.___ _

____"I can't believe I agreed to something so stupid."  
The demon Beelzebub had never felt so humiliated in her life, but she swore that as soon as that story was over, she would personally rip the damn archangel's wings off.  
"Don't think I like working with a demon," Gabriel wrapped his shoulders around him with one arm, staring at El. He was just waiting for his movement, a strange action, a confirmation, something to calm his doubts.  
"Take this arm off me if you don't want me to take it off," the demon said, icy cold. "Why pretend we're a couple? I don't even want to play the part of your possible partner."  
"I can see we're nervous. What, is your new look making you uncomfortable?"  
Finally Gabriel had given her a look: if they didn't want to look, they had to walk around like two normal humans. Not a problem for him, but enough for Beelzebub, who hated human customs and habits. And then in those shriveled-up jeans he was uncomfortable, why did she leave it to him? In fact, why didn't he just give it a rest? He could have, no one was stopping him, yet at the same time he couldn't.  
"You'll do it on the damn post, I swear I'll..."  
His gaze was beyond the figure of the archangel. El had climbed over the hedge and now he looked at them with an amused smile.  
"You guys are so cute!" he exclaimed, making the demon nervous.  
"Well, well done, your plan wasn't even flawed!" he complained. Gabriel did not answer, turning to El instead.  
"We're not here for you, and you'd better back off anyway. I don't want to hear another demon complain."  
But the little girl, with her hands behind her back, didn't seem to want to move.  
"Sure, right. Anyway, don't worry. I know you'd never hurt me."  
It was the first time Beelzebub saw her up close and now she understood better what Gabriel meant. El was indeed a mysterious creature, it was not clear what she was or where she came from or why. She felt strange and felt a sense of déjà-vu.  
"I wouldn't talk like that if I were you. You're suspicious. I should take you and drag you to hell," he pointed at her, making her laugh.  
"Bel, you're funny."  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? AND WHAT AM I?"  
This was absurd, why did he have to stay there and be mocked by a little girl and that silly archangel?  
"You shouldn't get so angry, he's always calling you that!" El immediately defended himself, pointing at Gabriel and making the smile disappear from his face.  
"I what?"  
"You what?! I'll make you burn in the flames of Hell!"  
The quiet was over and so was discretion. El noticed with pleasure that those two had never changed.  
"You will make a beautiful couple," he sadly said.  
"If this girl doesn't shut up, I swear I'll kill her!" exclaimed Beelzebub, thinking at the same time: "Then why don't you do it? There's nothing to stop you."  
He didn't get a chance to respond. They had attracted too much attention and before they knew it Aziraphale and Crowley had erected a wall between them and El. The demon in particular literally had his eyes on fire.  
"El, go to Anathema," he ordered.  
"But we weren't doing anything about-"  
"I said go, now!" he ordered stricter. El decided to obey, because she knew there would be no way to convince them.  
And now it was two against two.  
"What do you want from us?" hissed Crowley on the defensive. "You must leave her alone!"  
"I don't think it's worth getting so worked up about, demon Crowley, if me and this guy wanted to hurt her, we would have done it by now," Beelzebub shushed. Gabriel made a grimace, not very happy to be called "that one" and turned to Aziraphale.  
"You had to imagine that I wasn't going to pretend nothing happened. There's something wrong with the little girl."  
"No, there's something wrong with you," Crowley went at him, pointing a finger at him. "What Aziraphale and I do is not about our factions, and more importantly, it's not about you."  
"I think so," replied Gabriel, surprising the other angel and leaving the demon astonished instead.  
"Why is that?"  
Why? He asked himself that too, since he had seen El, but the more he looked for answers, the less he found.  
"I don't know, all right? I don't know, but I feel that's the way it is, are you satisfied now?" he replied nervously. What the hell was wrong with him?  
Aziraphale realized that perhaps Gabriel had sensed something not too different from what he had heard. He did not trust Gabriel and Beelzebub, nor would he ever trust him, but perhaps there was a hope that he would not end up in a bloodbath.  
"Perhaps you'd better explain yourself, because your intentions are suspicious. Did you, uh... did you hear what I said?  
Only for a moment the archangel had raised his eyes to El, who was laughing with Anathema.  
Just a moment._ _ _ _

____"Babriel, Babriel!"  
"No. No. And no! It's Gabriel, not "Babriel", don't ruin my very respectable name, is that clear?"  
He was very, very bad at arguing with a one-and-a-half year old girl. El, sitting down, looked at him with a beautiful smile and her two-tone eyes with long eyelashes.  
The little one clenched her fists and seemed to make a deep effort.  
"Babriel."  
The archangel decided not to add anything else, he already felt humiliated enough. Rather the little one had got up on his still slightly unsteady legs.  
"Bel!"  
Beelzebub hated children. Also because nowhere had ever seen a demon who loved children (except Crowley), but unfortunately El had a catastrophic effect on her. He took her in his arms, then looked at the archangel.  
"She's smart, she prefers me."  
"This is a lie," Gabriel was offended. "It is clear that he has a preference for me. I mean, how could anyone not prefer me, after all?"  
The demon had an absolutely calm, seraphic expression.  
"All right, let's ask her: El, do you prefer Bel or Babriel?" she asked mean. Once again, the girl seemed to think about it a bit.  
"Bel."  
"Well, great, do you want to lead in that too?" Gabriel flashed irritated. Aziraphale saw them arguing and raised his eyes to the sky.  
"Oh, come on! Why don't you make your own child and share his attention? Come on, El, it's feeding time."  
The archangel wrinkled his forehead, looking at the demon.  
"Well, you've upset him."  
Aziraphale could be very patient, but hell, those two were incredible, even worse than him and Crowley. And speaking of the latter, he'd just got back in the house, slamming the door and taking off his sunglasses.  
"My angel! You know, today I signed a contract with a disc--what's the matter with you?" she immediately noticed her husband's expression, which she merely sighed.  
"Nothing dear, Gabriel and Beelzebub have been quarrelling for an hour because they contend for El's attentions."  
"I don't contend with anything", the archangel pointed out, not very convincing in reality. Crowley was laughing.  
"Confront" you? You lose on departure. Clearly, El's favorite is me!"  
In fact, the little girl had already stretched out her arms towards him to be taken in her arms, which the demon had not been slow to do.  
"See? Are you or are you not the most beautiful little girl in the world?"  
Slightly wounded in pride, Aziraphale sat down. Because he'd had the hard job and El still preferred Crowley? She'd never have explained it, but then again, how could you blame her?  
She advised her husband to feed her while Gabriel sat beside him. To say they were friends would have been saying too much, more like they were establishing a mutual relationship of trust.  
"Amh... I think you're risking a little too much," said the angel, suddenly, not looking his superior in the eye. "If the others find out you're complicit in this..."  
"We are not accomplices. If no one knows, there's no problem", Beelzebub immediately.  
"But you said yourself it would come out. We don't know what they might do to her if they found her. I remind you that El is half angel and half demon, so she'd be killed by hellfire and holy water and..."  
"Be quiet", Gabriel interrupted him, severe. "That won't happen. There are four of us protecting her now."  
They both looked at him in amazement. To see him express such blatant affection for someone he once wanted to kill was strange. But he was sincere, that was clear.  
"You've really grown fond of her," noted Beelzebub, no tone of controversy, just amazed.  
"Why, don't you? Why do you think we got this far?"  
Aziraphale held back from laughing, and there they were again.  
They were lucky. In fact, they all were. El had united them against all odds, that little girl was the representation of the purest love, strong yes, but also fragile as a crystal, that if touched by the wrong hands, could fall.  
And _break. _____ _ _

______-_ _ _ _ _ _

______Anathema observed El amazed. That little girl was very resourceful, surprising.  
"You know I know how to use fire, too? Actually, I can control all the elements a little bit. Well... about," he admitted. Taking advantage of the fact that Crowley had pulled her away, she held out the palm of her hand, a flame hovering over it.  
"It doesn't burn you," the witch noticed, adjusting her glasses to take a closer look.   
"No, it doesn't burn me. This fire purifies the spirit, but it can also hurt it. But I'm still not good at it!"  
The little flame on his hand had suddenly burst into flames.  
"All right, all right, I get it!" Anathema shook, sighing then just sighing. "I don't see what's wrong with your power, your being you. It seems to me you just lack a little self-control, but you'll grow into that."  
El stopped making a spectacle and became serious, shyly looking around.  
"Usually, when someone has great power, others either fear it or try to use it for their own purposes. This is who I am. Something to eliminate or use as a war machine. "Well... I don't want to be either, all right?!" she exclaimed, clenching her fists, grieving.   
Anathema watched her for a few moments, then gouged out his eyes.  
"They tried to kill you?" he whispered. She lifted her eyes, feeling an unbearable lump in her throat, but still struggled to answer.  
"Yes, and I'm starting to believe that I should have been the one to die."  
The witch understood then. She understood and felt terribly ill. There was no need for El to explain, because everything had become clear to her. She never let herself go to tears, and yet at that moment she couldn't control it. He approached her and hugged her.   
"Don't talk like that, please..." he whispered. If before she didn't recognize herself in a future self that spurred her on a dangerous journey through time, now she recognized herself perfectly. In the end, she had found it again.   
El felt some relief in her embrace and tried not to cry.  
"The time has come to tell them, El. It's something that concerns them firsthand."  
He stiffened slightly. He had to, at least he had to try.  
"What if they don't believe me?"  
"They will. Maybe not right away, but eventually they will. They know who you are, they feel it, just like I've always felt it."  
Anathema's words were sweet. And she absolutely wanted to believe it, clinging with all her might.  
"Look! Those four are there, they're all alive," the little girl suddenly said. Crowley had an annoyed expression and an ill-contained nervousness. He hadn't even had the satisfaction of punching that idiot Gabriel, because Aziraphale had begged him not to.  
El approached them, looking at them curiously.  
"Are you friends now?"  
"Watch your mouth, this can't happen now or ever!" Gabriel clarified. Beelzebub looked at him as if he wanted to say, "You are in no position to make such speeches." He had said certain things, actually giving voice to what were also his feelings.   
El crossed her arms to her chest: the Gabriel of his time was much nicer, but it was normal that he was different here.  
"Well, at least you didn't kill each other. They're my friends, they won't hurt me!", said the wise guy.  
"We are not your friends, we are simply two entities that are keeping an eye on an anomaly in order to understand what to do with it", Beelzebub pointed out, being then watched with resentment by Crowley.  
"And you can also count on the fact that they won't hurt you," he said harshly, softening up a bit. "So... do you want chocolate or strawberry ice cream?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Aziraphale was realizing that there was never an end to the weirdness. It was almost evening and in half an hour he would close the bookstore, not that he had been very present, at least not with his mind.  
" _It's as if I've seen her before, already known her. I knew right away that there's something special about her, but I can't figure out what. She's not like me, she's not like you, she's something that doesn't exist." _  
Gabriel's words kept coming back to him. Could he feel the same feelings and doubts? He didn't trust the archangel and he would never have trusted him, that's why for the moment he was all still, all still, all silent. Neither he nor Crowley had well understood their goals, but for some reason, deep down inside, Aziraphale was convinced that they had no bad intentions with El. This, of course, he hadn't mentioned to his companion, or he would most likely have been insulted.  
El was really weird, no one knew anything about her and no one knew where she came from, yet she brought everyone together, attracted them to her.  
The little girl had appeared from behind a row of shelves, her heart pounding. She had taken Anathema's words very seriously and now she was looking for a courage she didn't believe she possessed, not anymore. And now all her vivacity and fake carefree spirit had been blessed.  
Aziraphale looked up at her, at that extraordinary little girl with unknown powers, who reminded him so much of him but also of Crowley, in a way that could not be explained.  
"El...?" he called her.  
Only then did she come forward.  
 _Talk, because you're running out of time.  
The damn weather, it always comes back. _  
"There's something I have to tell you."_____ _ _ _ _ _


	11. Emma Lyra

Spring had come and with it also the sun, the heat and life. Crowley had just finished terrorizing his plants, although in those last few months he had softened up in ways too.  
Everything was fine, maybe too fine. Neither Gabriel nor Beelzebub, nor anyone else had come to disturb them, but that didn't mean they weren't constantly at attention. Although on the one hand, they were trying to stay calm, especially Aziraphale. The latter had an admirable calm and strength, a perfect control of himself, unlike him, who in the end was the most anxious, even paranoid.  
«Come on, angel. And it's okay to rest, but you can't lie on that couch all day!»  
Aziraphale looked up from the book he was reading. Had it been easy to at least try to get up and walk.  
«Darling, I'd gladly do it, but you know, your daughter's gotten heavy to carry by now.»  
«Sssh, don't tell her she's fat, or you'll give her a complex,» he put his finger on his lips. «Anyway, I finally put her crib together!»  
The angel gouged out his eyes, amazed and suddenly found the will and strength to move. Crowley was proud and stubborn, so he decided to mount it himself, without the help of miracles or anything else. And he'd done a really good job.  
«Crowley... it's adorable,» he whispered.  
«Yes... too pink and too many bows, but still adorable. Although this is my favorite part,» he said, pointing to the carousel suspended above the cradle, from which hung small stars of various sizes and colors. «Lyra will love them,» he said proudly and even a little touched. Azirphale approached him, stroking his arm and then resting his head on his shoulder.  
«We're almost there, how do you feel?»  
»Me? I couldn't put it into words. How are you?»  
«So let's see: tired, heavy, emotional and very impatient,» he sighed as he massaged his belly. Emma's every movement felt it perfectly and for a few days it had started to be a little painful, not that she was surprised.  
«All right, then come back and lie down. I've kept you here too long.»  
«Ah, I'm fine. You said it yourself, I can't stand still all day, I don't even think it's healthy,» he smiled softly at him and then let herself grimace. He was in pain again.  
«Forget what I said and go lie down, for Satan's sake!» he exclaimed, carrying his arm around his shoulders. The angel struggled to breathe, realizing that those must be contractions.  
«You know, I doubt it's gonna do any good... I'm just feeling a little bit cramped, that's all... I think this is it.»  
Crowley rolled his eyes, suddenly pulling away. What, like that? Cheating? Not even a warning!  
He started walking nervous.  
«All right, all right. Don't panic, don't panic... Aziraphale, I'm panicking!»  
The angel raised his eyes to heaven. I wonder why he wasn't surprised.  
«Crowley, calm down, okay? Call Anathema, I'm gonna go sit down. Or at least I'm gonna try.»  
«Right! Anathema, I'll take care of it!» Crowley tried to pick up the phone so fast it almost fell out of his hand. He prayed that the witch would answer it right away, as he had neither the will nor the time to go looking for her. Fortunately for him, the girl answered after just two rings.  
«Hello? Hello C-»  
«HEY! Come here because this is it!» he exclaimed clumsy.  
«Uh-huh? Already? All right, then I'll try to hurry. Remember, don't panic and remember, it's important to breathe.»  
«Aziraphale is already breathing.»  
«In fact, I was talking to you,» she said, then closed the call. Crowley nervously threw the phone into a corner, reaching Aziraphale who had sat on the bed.  
It was damn painful, the feeling was like a sharp knife hitting you and tearing you apart, making you miss your breath.  
«Aziraphale, talk to me, how are you feeling? Is there anything I can do for you? Anathema told me he's coming and that I have to breathe, but I'm...»  
»Darling, please,» he complained. »Be quiet for a moment.»  
Trying to be patient, to calm down despite the pain was a very difficult task. The angel had already unbuttoned his shirt, immediately seeing the scar near the reddened pubis.  
Crowley raised his arm, trembling, to point him out.  
«A- So it really comes out of there? I can't look at it, it's impressing me.»  
«Does it impress you? This is ridiculous, you're partly responsible, so now look... Ouch!» he complained, this time more nervous. Crowley came up to him again, shaking like a leaf and grabbed his hand. He'd be unconscious, he was sure of it, weak as hell!  
«All right, angel. Breathe, you know how to do it, don't you? You've read all those books on childbirth.»  
«I don't think any book could prepare me for such great pain», he moaned, holding his hand so tightly that the demon let go a moan: it would have broken it, sure.  
To Crowley's great relief, Anathema arrived not even ten minutes later, with shortness of breath and an ill-contained nervousness. She had never delivered a baby, let alone a half-breed between angel and demon, but Aziraphale had turned to her and could not disappoint him. And, above all, she couldn't leave him alone with Crowley, it would have been deleterious.  
«All right, how often are the contractions?» she asked.  
»Every... three minutes, I guess? And this... it hurts so much, it's opening up,» tried to explain Aziraphale, pressing gently on the scar.  
«All right. Crowley, can you get me some clean towels? And sterilized scissors!»  
Crowley heard, without really listening. He was completely absent and panicked. He had promised himself that it would help, but at that moment he couldn't even formulate a meaningful thought. Anathema, despite his nervousness, was trying to be calm and in turn to calm Aziraphale.  
«Don't worry, it'll be fine, you're strong after all. Do you feel the need to push? »  
«N-not yet. But I can clearly feel his head pushing and it hurts like hell», he pressed his hand against the scar, only to look at it and see it soiled with a strange thick, transparent liquid mixed with blood. Crowley, pale as a ghost, did to say something, but without success. He fell heavily against the floor, unconscious.  
«Crowley»?! Heavens, tell me that didn't happen!» exclaimed Aziraphale.  
«I can't believe it!» Anathema swears. «If you don't kill him, I swear I will. Crowley, wake the hell up! Do you want to miss such an important moment? «If you were my husband, I'd punch you until you woke up!» she would have gladly done so, if it weren't for the angel who demanded his utter attention.  
«This contraction hurt like hell,» he moaned.  
»All right, don't think about him, just focus on your breathing. We can do this,» she tried to calm him down and at the same time calm herself. Making a baby was no small thing, it had an important role and responsibility. She stroked Aziraphale's back and then looked at Crowley.  
«Poor dear, I knew he'd faint. »  
«Poor dear a ruthless horn,» the witch said, getting up. »  
I'll never forgive him if he keeps sleeping, so now I'll have to wake him up!»  
If she had been a little calmer, perhaps she would have acted with more calm and reflection, but there was no time to think or stay calm. She sat down badly on Crowley, at which point Azraphale rolled her eyes.  
«What are you doing?»  
«Nothing wrong, don't worry,» he said, grabbing him and slapping him in the face. Finally the time had come when he could get rid of all the stress and get revenge on the demon. »Crowley! Wake up!»  
«Aaah», the angel moans. «I'm not sure that's a good way.»  
«I say yes! You stupid chickenshit demon, I said you gotta wake up, we're not going through this alone, got it?!»  
He had continued undauntedly to strike Crowley, until he finally decided to open his eyes wide. He immediately grabbed her wrist, blocking her.  
«Damn you, witch, did you really need to slap me? A bucket of water would have been enough!»  
«Yes, of course. A bucket of water, but holy!»  
Aziraphale made a grimace, suffering. Could it be that no one thought of him? He had tried to stay calm, but the pain was tearing him apart and a small living thing was pawing and pushing to come into the world. There was no reason at all to stay calm.  
«Oh, listen up, both of you! Stop fighting like children and rather help me. I'm the one who's suffering... Idiots!»  
The demon and the witch looked at each other, amazed and troubled. After all, Aziraphale never got angry. Still with trembling legs and a strong dizziness, Crowley rose, shaking his angel's hand again.  
«I'm sorry...»  
«You're right to be sorry. Do I need to remind you that I'm here because of you? »  
«What do you mean by...?»  
Anathema promptly shut him up and he immediately understood why: he had told him that very often women, during childbirth, targeted the unfortunate husband or partner, pouring out all their discontent. For Aziraphale it was no different, so it was better to indulge him.  
«You're right, it's all my fault. Forgive me and please don't break my hand!»  
He was holding on tight and could never have imagined the pain she was feeling to bring life into the world. But he could smell the strong smell of blood that had made him faint just before.  
«The... the scar,» Anathema said. »It's opening up completely. Aziraphale, maybe you should push.»  
«Already»?! No! Why? It hurts too much as it is, I'll never make it, I don't... I don't...»  
«For Satan's sake, angel, of course you can, come on. I'm right here beside you, right to the end, all right?» determined Crowley looked him in the eye. There was no one stronger than Aziraphale, no one better suited to perform such a miracle. A little heartened, but breathless in his lungs, the angel nodded slowly. _They were each other's strengths. _  
«I... do... it... ah!» his grip on Crowley's hand increased, but the demon dared not complain. If he could have done just a little bit of his grief, but all he could do was support him.  
Aziraphale realized that he no longer had control of his body when the contractions became so strong and close that he had to tighten completely. Anathema hid as much as possible the anxiety, emotion and all the psychological pressure he was experiencing. She pressed one hand firmly against his abdomen.  
«Forgive me, it's to help you! She's... she's coming out... oh my God, come on!»  
«No!» Aziraphale closed his eyes. Death had to be less painful. For it was certain, there was no physical pain stronger than that, made sweeter only by the presence of Crowley, who now carried his hand among the hedgehogs, caressing them.  
«You're doing great...» he whispered to him. After a few moments the pain became too much. The angel stiffened, hiding his face on his shoulder and suffocating a groan of pain. It was like dying, but at the same time being reborn. A few seconds later, the pain had passed, leaving him empty, slumped over Crowley.  
The latter, who had closed his eyes, found the courage to reopen them only the moment he heard his daughter's first wailing.  
An astonished and tearful Anathema held the little girl in her arms, red in the face crying, screaming, protesting that she had been torn away from her comfortable home.  
«You did it, Aziraphale. We all did it, here's the girl!» he exclaimed proudly. The weary angel lifted up his face a little and felt the tears turn in his cheeks. He was no longer in control of anything, and it was all right. She was there, after what had seemed like an eternity. The union between him and Crowley, he could finally see it.  
«She's... she's... she's beautiful. Crowley, have you seen...?»  
The demon didn't say a word. He was shocked and enraptured by the beauty of life that was born, always, in spite of everything. And the thought that she existed through them made it all a little more special. He had promised himself, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good, that he wouldn't give in to tears. But these tears, so light and heavy at the same time, were already falling from his lashes.  
«Our little girl... is here at last,» he looked at her and then he looked at Aziraphale. «Oh, angel... you've worked a miracle.»  
«Did I...? You mean _we have _,» he blew, tired, but happy, radiant.  
Anathema wrapped the little one in a towel, unable to stop looking at her.  
«Oh, she's really gorgeous. She looks a lot like you. Come on, don't cry, all right, I'm taking you to your daddy now, happy? She's already got a temper», said the witch while the little girl wouldn't stop crying. But she stopped instead immediately after, when Aziraphale took her in his arms with a really surprising naturalness. That little creature was warm and alive, breathing and had a beating heart. Suddenly all the pain, anguish, anxiety and fear was gone.  
«Welcome to the world, baby. That was hard, wasn't it? Look at you, you're... really perfect.» With pride and emotion in her voice, Aziraphale stroked her flushed cheeks and went down on her tight little fist. Crowley had stared at them without having the courage to speak. They were really beautiful, and he loved them more than anything else in the world. He walked up slowly and trembled. He was so afraid to touch her, she seemed so small, so fragile and helpless, even though he knew how strong she was.  
«Lyra...» he called her sweet, caressing her. The little one's hand clawed her finger and then - again - holding back the tears was impossible.  
«Darling, don't you want to hold her?»  
«What...? Yes, I'd like to, but she's small and I'm afraid I'll hurt her, what if she falls?» he panicked, making Anathema smile.  
«It won't fall to you, come on, you've been waiting for this moment for months,» he said a sacrosanct truth. Crowley made a grimace, not very convincing. He was not as good, sweet and gentle as Aziraphale, quite the contrary, but he longed to hold his daughter for the first time. He carried one hand under her head and one under her body, lifting her gently.  
«Okay, I got it. Please don't cry, I'm doing my best,» he whispered. Aziraphale took one hand in front of his mouth, amused but also moved. The truth is that the little girl in Crowley's arms was really good for us, maybe almost more than with him, which made him jealous just a little bit.  
«I'm doing it! It's not that hard. I'm good, aren't I, Lyra?»  
«Emma», the angel breathed, wearily.  
«Come on, can't you make me happy?»  
«Make you... happy? Crowley, I've struggled and suffered so much, make me happy!»  
Anathema shook his head: those two, the usual incorrigible ones.  
«Excuse me for intruding, but why don't you call her both names? Emma Lyra sounds good, doesn't it?»  
Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other. They hadn't really thought about it, but it wasn't a bad idea. The demon looked at the little girl making funny, funny faces.  
«Do you like Emma Lyra? And maybe we could call you El, it's more immediate.»  
«El,» repeated Aziraphale. »El» I like. I'd say it's perfect for her.»  
Emma Lyra demonstrated her consent by slowly opening her eyes for the first time and showing her particular color.  
«Oh my... his eyes, look at his eyes. They're two different colors.»  
«It's true!» exclaimed Anathema. »There's nothing to say, she's really your daughter.»  
»Yes, I know,» sighed Aziraphale, proud. »You are unique and special, Emma Lyra. _El _.»  
Emma Lyra had only recently come into the world, yet she was already receiving so much of that heartwarming love. Anathema had offered to stay and help them at least for that first night, but Aziraphale had reassured her that they would be okay and that she had done enough already. For her part, the witch preferred not to insist, but wanted to give them privacy. Besides, she was sure they were really going to be all right, those two.  
The angel was feeling a little better now. The scar, to his great surprise and relief, was closing on its own, but it still hurt a little, which is why he was prevented from moving. With that excuse, Crowley pampered El as much as he wanted and even found the courage to feed her.  
«Look how voracious she is, I wonder where she gets it from», alluded the demon, observing how the child did not hint at detaching herself from her beloved bottle. Aziraphale blushed, eyes half-closed.  
«Don't rage like this. Now give me some, come on.»  
«You're convalescing, I remind you.»  
«It's only an excuse because you want to keep her with you. All right, so tonight, when she cries, you get up. I am recovering, after all.»  
Crowley made to say something, but he knew at once it would be better to keep quiet. He had to take care of both of us. He could do it.  
»Fine, but let's make it clear that I'm not changing her diaper,» he said. _One step at a time. _  
El drank all the milk with voracity, resulting in hiccups. Only after Crowley allowed Aziraphale to take her back. The angel placed her next to him, resting one cheek against the baby's soft cheek. He realized was suffering a little from that detachment and it was certain that somehow El was suffering from it too. They had been together for months and in a way it was as if they could protect each other.  
Well, it had been.  
Now you should have found another way to protect her.  
Aziraphale closed her eyes and shortly afterwards El, satiated and enveloped in sweet warmth, also fell asleep.  
Crowley didn't move so as not to wake them up, rather he just watched them. He had been so immensely lucky, not all demons had the chance to love, to love an angel, to have a family of their own. He had always been sure of it, but now it was stronger than ever: he wanted to protect Aziraphale and El and to do so he would have given his life, if necessary.  
He felt, deep down, _that it would be necessary _. Even though he always hoped it wouldn't. He wanted all three of them to live together, to do all those things... like human families did. He couldn't think anyone would hurt that little wretch who was sleeping soundly now. It was inevitable to think about it.  
It was getting dark and he was beginning to feel tired too. He did not want to disturb El and since there was not enough room, he made do with a pillow and the floor.  
The sleep came almost immediately, not even giving him time to think. It had been a long, hard day and it would take him a few days to recover. Aziraphale must have had incredible strength to have been able to endure so much, he would never have succeeded.  
It must have been about four o'clock when El started whining, fidgeting. Immediately the demon stood up, so fast that she felt her head spin: Azirahale did not hint at waking up, still too tired and tried, but on the other hand the child did not hint at calming down either. Crowley immediately took her in his arms, rocking her.  
«Sssh, be quiet, don't wake him up. It was hard for him. Well, actually it was hard for everyone,» he sighed, caressing his full head of hair, an indefinite colour, who knows if they would have been blond or red. El was protesting for food, so Crowley hurried to give her the bottle again, that little girl tended to get very impatient when she was hungry (i.e. almost always). And while he was feeding her, he couldn't help but look at her and be surprised, he still couldn't understand how a living being could exist that was the union between him and his angel. It was extraordinary, El was.  
«Am I doing well?» he asked then, quietly. »Don't be strict, because it's my first time.»  
El let herself go to a verse. Soon after, she finished drinking her milk and ended up uncooked.  
«Ah... you babies,» sighed the demon. «You look a lot like Aziraphale, you know that? But so do I. I didn't even think your existence was possible. But now here you are. You realize you're the daughter of a demon and a completely insane angel, right? You're not? Well, now you do. Someday we'll tell you how we fell in love. It's a good story. »If you only knew how hard I worked to win him over...»  
It sounded like El was really listening to him. She opened her eyes and smiled at one of them.  
«Hey, are you laughing at me?» Crowley asked, softened, carrying it on his chest. «But you're right... laugh it up... life can be... really... magnificent sometimes.»  
With El firmly attached to him Aziraphale sleeping beside him, he had nothing to fear.  
When the angel woke up several hours later, he almost had a stroke when he didn't see the little girl next to him, but he calmed down immediately when he saw her on Crowley, who was holding her gently.  
_The fear was gone and all that was left was joy. _____________


End file.
